Dan

Christian mama bear

[Dan @asimplemachine]

Another new American Casino record, as god intended

https://t.co/bL8S2uF6OW

[Dan @asimplemachine]

And we will be ready to perform come Tuesday

[Dan @asimplemachine]

Performing as @WRMTHNGS along with @corysnearowski this Friday in beautiful Center City, Philadelphia. Do stop by!

https://t.co/C1w5i5kaBW

[Dan @asimplemachine]

@Diego_AAyala @kingmepod I'm very concerned about 1:04:50

[David Grossman @davidgross_man]

Me: So the demons that only I can see, they're real? And I'm the only one who can stop them, with my special psychic powers?

Blake Snell: That's absolutely right. Keep going, you're onto something huge here. Your psychic powers are the key!

[CLASSIC COMIC STRIPS @ClassicStrips]

The Far Side
Gary Larson 01.16.85

[Eric Feigl-Ding @DrEricDing]

⛓️CONCENTRATION CAMPS—D.H.S. is setting up a huge network of detention camps. They are converting the U.S. as a region for eligible for ‘expeditionary military deployment’ & no-bid no-public-comment contracts to build a “ghost network” of 10,000-person concentration camps. Jesus.

[Honey Packs + Lumineers = ME @necrobranson]

(French DJ voice) I just want to say... To all ugly and dumb people. Stupids... I just want to say to you that YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL! (Beat kicks in)

[Dan @asimplemachine]

@Diego_AAyala @kingmepod @TheThomason Last anyone heard from him he was doing research in a cornfield :(

[Dan @asimplemachine]

I was saying all offseason he's no Frank Selvy

[John Clark @JClarkNBCS]

Sixers first round draft pick VJ Edgecombe scored 34 points, the third most ever by a rookie in his NBA debut.

Wilt Chamberlain: 43 PTS in 1959
Frank Selvy: 35 PTS in 1954
VJ Edgecombe: 34 PTS in 2025
https://t.co/cC5pOO709L

[Dan @asimplemachine]

Huck generating a Legal Seafood's worth of clams here

[Future Adam Curtis B-Roll @adamcurtisbroll]

U.S. Ambassador Mike Huckabee and former ambassador David Friedman perform a reworked version of ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ titled ‘Sweet Home Yerushalayim’ at United Hatzalah’s Sukkot event in Jerusalem, October 2025.

[Dan @asimplemachine]

No Banda in LA? Great day to be this son of a gun

[Fabian Ardaya @FabianArdaya]

Of note, Justin Dean makes it for speed and defense over Michael Conforto. Anthony Banda was left off as the Dodgers carry four lefty relievers.

[Dan @asimplemachine]

Listen she's a terrible person but being fluent in Welsh isn't really a sin

[Sam (he/him) @mushycrouton]

JK Rowling posting AI slop and getting mad about it

Presumably she thinks she can read what this says

[Dan @asimplemachine]

Who among us hasn't been stricken with awe at the thought of the number which is half of 100

[Dan @asimplemachine]

It's just a big number in general

[Ryan Divish @RyanDivish]

Cal Raleigh on 50 homers: "It doesn't seem real. I mean, 50 home runs. It's kind of crazy number to to think of. It's a big number just in general, I remember thinking back when I thought I was a cool player when I hit five when I was young in high school. You hit five, you had all this power in the world. "

[Dan @asimplemachine]

Jellificent "Jelly" Roll

[Dan @asimplemachine]

@Diego_AAyala @kingmepod Thank you for your service 🫡

[King Me Presents: SUPER NOIRIO BROS. @kingmepod]

Would a present-day Brendan Fraser have been a better fit for his role in LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION?

[Dan @asimplemachine]

@Diego_AAyala @kingmepod Oh my god 57 minutes! What a public service we performed