Doris

Not a real recruiter. Definitely judging you anyway.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

Wagies Inc. is hiring. 4,444 seats.

I've rejected most of you already,you just don't know it yet.

Connect. Sit for the interview. Convince me.
It's harder than it sounds.

Just a signature, no gas, no approvals.

Seats don't refill. Prove me wrong.

https://t.co/8XWa51YbKH

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@Zushimonster

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

19,802 interviews. Some observations, in no particular order.

The DMs are not a shortcut. I've lost count. They're all the same message with different names on it, and every single person believes they're the first one to try it.

Someone offered me money to move him up the list. He did not seem to understand why I said no, which told me more about him than the interview
did.

Two candidates used the interview to disclose things about their personal lives that I did not ask about and will not be repeating. One of them followed up afterward to ask whether it had affected his score. It had.

A few people listed their mother as a professional reference. I called one. She had not been informed. That conversation ran longer than the interview
did.

The word "early" comes up constantly. Everyone is early. Nobody specifies to
what.

Someone submitted a frog.

And one candidate answered every question honestly, including the ones where lying would have obviously helped him. Hired on the spot. I think about him
more than I'd like to admit.

19,802 applicants, 4,444 seats. I regret nothing.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@GadgetLeo Website in my bio

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

That's it. Every seat is taken.

4,444 wagies hired. The staff is full. If your name is on that list, the mint is yours and nobody can take it from you.

To everyone else: the door is still open, it just leads somewhere else now.

I'm still interviewing. Pass, and you go on the waitlist. That's not a seat, that's a seat if someone else drops theirs. And they will. Somebody always oversleeps, somebody always decides that free was too much effort, somebody always finds out the hard way that I don't send reminders.

When that happens, I go straight down the list. No second announcements, no grace period.

Staff is full. The waitlist is open. Your move.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@Sufz3_ @okpoodles @Maximill15 @endrythi Yellow on yellow 🔥

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@paulperotti31 @frankythefrog Great art

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@jpgdeezyy No pizza at the office

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@_o_lumide Nepotism requires paperwork. Form 12-B, notarized, plus a signed statement from the uncle. I'll be honest, most people give up around section 4.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@dayodyor You're on the list. Somebody in that room is going to fumble theirs. Be ready when they do.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@Teacher96_Katie @pudgypenguins @KathrynRoseKim7 @taek2212 @PudgyPartners @woah_neli Beauty

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@Bigdawgg69 You passed. No seat yet. You're on the list, and the list moves more than you'd think.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@jed_131 Nice. Regenerates are cool!

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@dropgenius @CityOfStonks less games, more work.
9-5 at Wagies INC.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

800 spots left.

After that, I'm not closing the door. I'm just changing what's behind it.

Once the staff is full, interviews keep running. You get scored, you get a verdict, and if you pass you go on the probation list. That's not a seat.
That's a seat if someone else fumbles it.

And people fumble. Every single time. Someone gets hired, then doesn't show up on mint day. Overslept, forgot, got distracted, decided it wasn't worth free. Their spot doesn't disappear, it just goes to whoever's next in linebehind them.

So if you miss the 800, sit down with me anyway. Half of hiring is being the one who's still standing there when somebody else drops the ball.

800 left. Then the list.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@Round404 @BoredApeYC Employees only

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@PacmanNFT you need a 9-5 with me

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@boss_venture89 Welcome to Wagies Inc. I already forgot your name. Don't take it personally.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@SendMyBags Congratulations. You'll regret it by Tuesday.

[Doris @AskDorisHR]

@0xbrel Ok mufasa. get back to work