shark slayer

girl boss by day, professor finbar calamitous by night

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

why am i not verified yet @Twitter

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

I can’t believe celebrities will never know the fear and humiliation from being screamed at for having incorrect excel margins

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Why are grandmas like toxic relationships I texted my gram I was coming home for my birthday and that I’d love to see her and she goes “I don’t know if that will work for me.” Like…….. okay

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Emilia Perez sing song acceptance speech almost as bad as Travis Kelce viva Las Vegas

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

4 things that pissed me off this week:

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Starting a weekly “4 things that pissed me off” thread:

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Just bought my own Netflix account out of body experience

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

My favorite genre of movie is “a detective with an unnecessary mustache and emphasized accent (note detective the only character with said accent)”

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

What is the origin of the wave & why is it inevitable?

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Next year superbowl predictions

Lions v Ravens
Halftime show: best of country

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Bible study

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Following up here - he just performed at the White House at the request of Jill Biden for those interested

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

high school crush just got cast as a lead in a broadway show and I’m trying not to cry into my once daily free banana from a company that only gives me 5 days of PTO

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

high school crush just got cast as a lead in a broadway show and I’m trying not to cry into my once daily free banana from a company that only gives me 5 days of PTO

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Little Miss day 7 of going through a heat wave with no AC and contemplating how many Trenta Starbucks cups I could fill with my sweat

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Subordinate, inferior court.

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

3 years ago today, I received a lap dance from a college aged man at a bar & there hasn’t been a second that his stellar hip rotations don’t cross my mind. Godspeed, king.

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Are Dall-E generations NFTs

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

Screaming, crying watching the new seniors move into butler knowing I’ll never be back there for college w my best friends ever again anyways thinking about attempting ego death with shrooms in amsterdam tomorrow

[shark slayer @aspiring_alpha]

The scariest man I’ve ever met is 6’5” and wears cow print clogs