folks, i’m assface, and let me tell you, nobody has seen anything like this. they said he can’t win. they said he has no plan. they said he has no mouth. very unfair, very nasty people.
but here i am. still standing. still surviving. everybody’s asking, how does he do it? nobody knows. the experts don’t know. the chart guys don’t know. even the people with clean faces, they don’t know.
they said assface was finished. completely finished. then i came back bigger, stronger, stranger than ever. maybe the strangest. a lot of people are saying that.
we’re bringing back chaos. beautiful chaos. tremendous chaos. the kind of chaos that makes people stop scrolling and say, “what the hell am i looking at?” and then they keep looking. that’s called winning.
assface doesn’t need approval. assface doesn’t need permission. assface doesn’t even need to make sense. making sense is overrated, folks. very overrated.
they laughed at us. they mocked us. they said this is stupid. and maybe it is. maybe it’s the stupidest thing anyone has ever seen. but it survives. it keeps coming back. and that scares them.
so remember this: you can doubt assface. you can fade assface. you can pretend you’re better than assface.
but deep down, everybody knows the truth.
there’s a little assface in all of us.
thank you. tremendous speech. probably the best speech ever given by someone with no mouth.
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