I can’t stand these loser guys who cheat on their fabulous girlfriends the moment they get a little bit of liquor in their system. Ugly on the inside and out. Sit down big bird before you embarrass yourself.
Your girlfriend doesn’t want heart shaped jewelry, I promise you. If you read this and still think she wants something heart shaped, I am willing to help you find something that isn’t ugly. This is my act of service to my fellow women.
“And if I'm being honest, your first and my last name, Would just sound better together and probably always will. Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise, Sunday drives and time to kill “
Just got in bed and got the blankets situated.. rolled over on something that sounded like plastic wrapping of some sort... yup, little Debbie cake plastic wrapper.. forgot I had a Christmas tree cake this morning #breakfastinbed#thisiswhyimfat