root vegetable (prophet)

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

Oh fuck I still have a Twitter

[Jesse Case @jessecase]

I met a friend for coffee and he was trying out a bucket hat phase. No warning text, no heads-up. Just unsolicited bucket hat. Brutal.

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

look, I love this cultural exchange in going on as much as the next guy, but surely there’s like one other song they’ve got for those bagpipes

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

knickd win basically means allah is the realest one

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

knicks in six obviously has a nice ring to it
and knicks seven is the progression of 67

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

strava’s gotta be evil right?

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

I missed this place

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

this is a terrible truthnuke for disgusting teeth havers (me)

[Grace @gracecamille_]

circling back.. we would all like to believe that we are one surg away from being beautiful, but some people are just meant to be a 5… u can get veneers but now ur just 5 with veneers. And that’s okay

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

you dont need an age gap relationship for this if you hang out around annoying guys like me

[walker @walkercapl]

Age gap relationships are a powerful cultural exchange program where young women across the country get to learn about They Might Be Giants

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

instagram isnt ready for my twitter thoughts

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

all of my friends are onto legos but im stuck on duplos FUCK

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

everyone is paying attention to the toyotas, but not the war camels

[doomer @uncledoomer]

me and the boys leaving toyotathon https://t.co/Lw5aq2MUSv

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

if anyone fucking cares im thinking about goddamn santa rn, not that any of tou facking care

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

yeah you all were right OBAA was really that fucking good

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

i have a genetic mutation, it makes my shins buttery smooth

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

watched there will be blood and tarantino is so one-dimensionally challenged in thought that he conflates eli’s pathetic charlatanism for a bad performance. nah bro, your disgust for the characters in the movie means it worked!

[Frank Lloyd White Boy @rustbelt_]

If I had to choose five cities to live in, they would be:

-Chongqing
-Detroit
-Toledo, OH
-Milwaukee
-Ulaanbaatar

[root vegetable (prophet) @asterizksreal]

https://t.co/AepvGTE56w