Asteroid Svelte

Channel the inner geek...embrace it...squeeeeeeze it...then lift its shirt and zoobert its bellybutton until it giggles.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@elonmusk Remember, "I'm not a Bot" is exactly what a Bot would say. Don't believe it. We're all bots. Best move on.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

Elon Musk's Twitter: like free speech, but only if you stuff a whole gas station egg salad sandwich in your mouth before talking. #incoherent #revolting

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@longwall26 He didn't even need to donate to her campaign to own her. Now THAT'S a bargain! https://t.co/vNFcnXPREl

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@BDeena Christians do enough self-congratulatory shit. Case in point: Jesus "died" for their sins, but he returned to hear their applause.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@Leafhealthcare1 Like hundreds of other people, I paid for the product and never received it. This is a scam.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@Leafhealthcare1 Like hundreds of other people, I paid for the product and never received it. This is a scam.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@Leafhealthcare1 Like hundreds of other people, I paid for the product and never received it. This is a scam.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@Leafhealthcare1 Like hundreds of other people, I paid for the product and never received it. This is a scam.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@Leafhealthcare1 Yeah, I paid for the product and never received it. This is such a scam. Fuck...right...off Redcliff, you crooks.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@Indiegogo LEAF mask has still not delivered, but they’re selling masks on their website. They now have over $4.4 million raised and no masks. Don’t you have a legal department? Or do you actually profit from fraud? #leaf #indiegogo #mask #fraud #leafmask #redcliffehealth

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@LoginClinics That’s unfortunate. I sent them $100 on Kickstarter for 2 units and they stole my money. This happened to literally thousands of people. Good luck!

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@gamestop ruined #ThinkGeek. The user experience is terrible. I went, I looked, I left. Way to keep it boring and corporate. I hope you get your starched ties caught into the ATM roller.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

I would like to congratulate Russia on what many tell me was the best World Cup ever, with the slight exception of every World Cup before it where attendees didn't leave behind their own variation of a "pee tape".

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

Several Presidents have been shot with guns in the past, so arm every employee, from servers to caddies, in Mar-a-Lago, just in case some sicko tries it again.

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

I heard Ajit Pai absorbed his twin in the womb to replace the empty space where his soul should be. #AjitPaiRumors

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

I heard Ajit Pai has to take calcium supplements to prevent his spine from totally liquifying. #AjitPaiRumors

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

I heard Ajit Pai prefers the French style over standard when kissing asses. #AjitPaiRumors

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

I heard Ajit Pai is actually just a shaved mule wearing a suit. #AjitPaiRumors

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

@AshBirch Hang in there, you rock the nation. #metalfingers

[Asteroid Svelte @asteroid_svelte]

I just supported an amazing cause’s efforts to receive $10K from @KINDsnacks. Want to do the same? Cast a vote here. https://t.co/udYpCfHyu9