mayhem

may ❁ ass butt

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

watching my facility refill my ativan that very clearly says no refills remaining

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

im coming back on twitter just to say jada pinkett fuckin smith to shut up on god please get off my entertainment system

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

this place is dead. bye twitter

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

FUCK YOUR TUNNELS FUCK YOUR CARS FUCK YOUR ROCKETS FUCK UR CARS AGAIN

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

honestly fuck El0n Munks

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

god its so far away from 5 oclock id rather NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY INSTEAD OF SIT HERE. IS SOMEONE IN THIS OFFICE CHEWING WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN????? AM I...............DOOMED????

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

yeah i saw this in 1000 ways to die sooo rip

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

me after getting banned from another facebook group for calling a white bch Crisco

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

buying concert tix for reason to stay alive another 4 months

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

dont tell me what to do if you look like you eat dead batteries

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

@spamkatsumusubi hahahahahaha

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

i think i havent gone a single day without calling someone piss baby for the last year at this point

[Mike @ProgPro]

Imagine being 70 years old, searching up a band because your favorite news anchor recommended them and this is the first thing you see

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

@BrooklynBoyB @Rollitupk u dont BORROW a KIDNEY

[Aaron Margolin @Aaron_Margolin]

This is exactly how I talk to kids about Pokémon

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

it would be so nice to have a day at work where no one talks to me or toddler-shoves their phone in my face to show me yet another hilarious video

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

having a soy sauce bottle at my desk brings alllllll the bitches over

[mayhem @asteroidcrunch]

loving dad bods bc i can still put my face between their tits