#SecondCivilWarLetters
My dearest betrothed,
It is the eve of battle here in Bowling Green. The enemy is so close we can smell their Old Spice and citronella tiki torches. We have awaited an anticipated attack for days but have only encountered mispelled tweets and dank memes.
Dear Paw,
Today I came upon a most gruesome scene. Two men in MAGA hats lay on the ground bleeding to death as they shot each other thinking the other was the bad guy with a gun. Their general stood by and offered them his thoughts and prayers. #SecondCivilWarLetters
#SecondCivilWarLetters
My Dearest,
We have found refuge in an NFL stadium. Everytime the red hats advance we play the anthem and take a knee. They all promptly leave.
These are truly stupid days,
Yours Always.