✩ ray ✩

24 | they/them | le$bian |☉♎︎ • ☽ ♑︎ •⇡♎︎ | vent | irls dni

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

@p11nkvomit why people so mad men literally suck i never met a man who is both a decent person and holds his male friends to the same decent standards. they're also just not funny... women are funnier, more trustworthy, cooler... we don’t need these sockfuckers lol

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

not me applying to work as a residential counselor at an ED clinic why is this the only thing in my area my degree qualifies me for

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

@p1nkv0mit yes she knows my history with it but i think she thinks im doing better than i am at this point

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

just evaluated my childhood again and i remembered how my family literally starved me and then forced me to see a nutritionist and dermatologist when i was literally healthy just slightly overweight and had some teenage acne i will never forgive them for what that put me through

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

ai is fucking hilarious it would literally put me at 13.1 😭😭😭

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

they did this to me but put a much lower weight than i was and i didn’t say anything but it looked like i gained mad weight next round

[basil ^•.•^ @deadauthoryaoi]

The doctor put my weight as 170 pounds instead of 117 and I told her that's not accurate and instead of correcting it she literally said "well it looks more accurate" like ok I'm sorry I'll kill myself

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

something that helped me stop over eating so much as somebody who grew up in a no waste household is realizing that whether i throw it in the trash or eat it anyways either way it’s wasted. if i am full it’s also a waste to consume it. basically i think you’re slaying

[star ☀️ @glossdiet]

Learning to accept when I’m full and leave leftovers ♡︎

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

it’s always good but god it was fucking good

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

also tmi nsfw but we had such good sex last night and it rly made me realize how much easier it is since i dropped so much weight like i always want to do it but it was so fun and went on so much longer than usual i was shaky bc i hadn’t eaten much and it still was easier

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

like i seriously wish everyone somebody like her

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

i dropped almost 2lbs from yesterday honeymoon phase is back my shirt i’ve been avoiding wearing bc u can see my pants looking tight through it fits loosely with my jeans that used to not even be close to buttoning ☠️☠️

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

she won’t comment on it bc she knows it will send me down a hole and even tho i want her to tell me i look thinner or even just good in that way like so bad she won’t and i love her more for it

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

i’m about to be 50lbs down my fav shirt i never wore when i got it bc it was snug fits me and i wore it today to work i am SO HAPPY

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

@w1nterb3rrry 10 prolly

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

i am genuinely becoming so scared to eat not even ed related just bc of the insanity of the recalls and food borne illness

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

i don’t even wanna be that skinny i just don’t want to be this

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

i have the bright moments and i can keep them i just need to not dip below 900 and not go over 1500 and not let it keep going if i do go over bc 300 cals over is not the same as 1200 cals over i don’t need to binge just bc i fuckef up

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

im really proud with how far i’ve come if you told me i could lose all this weight without eating under like 800 cals i would never believe it but last year i spent about 2-3 months eating 1500-1800 cals of super high protein (not keto) and i think i actually fixed my metabolism

[✩ ray ✩ @athinnerray]

bc now when i restrict it falls off of me and now when i eat a lot i don’t gain like i did years before this tofu is actually gonna save my life