Aubrey Thorburn

oh, there's no backup dancers?

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

My Apple Watch can’t read a room. I put her airplane mode and yet she still yells at me to stand up every hour. Like MAAM I wish I could but I’m sandwiched between two strangers in the middle of the sky.

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

If Taylor Swift wasn’t in your top 5 for Spotify wrapped did you even experience 2020?

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

my toxic trait is buying a bunch of groceries and then eating all the frozen and non perishable food first

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

“Where are people finding time to do projects? You gotta nap, walk the dogs and eat. I don’t have time to do anything else” -my mom

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

@ me next time

[Jared Freid @jtrain56]

Your charcuterie board didn’t fool anyone, we know you’re a mess.

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

I just use Mexican food as a vehicle to get sour cream in my mouth

[theö 🇵🇸 @theosmanifesto]

Me every time “sweater weather” comes on shuffle off my fall playlist https://t.co/T5w8NRG7oK

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

@brookemiccio I have been influenced

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

*does average work for 1 day*

Me: so when’s undercover boss coming to give me $5000 and a trip to Florida?

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

Still relevant

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

I think I'm going to take a nap instead, please mail me my diploma

[Night Vale podcast @NightValeRadio]

This post is sponsored by screaming. It helps!

[Rebecca Soderlund @becca_soderlund]

Me forcing Aubrey to go out with me after both having shitty weeks

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

Venmo and Vimeo have almost the exact same app logo. There’s your yearly thought from me. I’ll be back in another 365 days for my annual tweet.

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

“That’s what I study for: the breaks”

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

Because what could be better than a 300+ person band backing you up? @NFL @pepsi @jtimberlake #PepsiHalftime #SLBII #UMNmarchwithJT

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

"I know A LOT of people... ok maybe like 3 or 4 people..."

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

Behind the scenes of the Instagram photo #livelaughlove

[Aubrey Thorburn @aubreyt24]

My hobbies include napping and researching businesses that appeared on Shark Tank