aubrie.

[aubrie. @aubrieaddine]

I am now officially the first in my family to have a college degree. Magna Cum Laude, president of a student org, a peer mentor, 1100+ volunteer hours, a vice presidential service award, 3 scholarships, traveled to 15 countries and an honors minor. 4 years well spent! 👩🏼‍🎓

[hotdogs water @pikwimin_]

somebody's gotta do it man we're running out of time

[Covie @covie_93]

Speaker mike johnson from the great state of 'Louisnana' wants to get rid of the Department of Education.

[Really American 🇺🇸 @ReallyAmerican1]

BREAKING: In a bizarre moment, the President of the United States expresses astonishment that his college age son can turn a laptop on after he turned it off, wondering "How'd you do that?" This is abnormal.

A weekly cognitive test should be mandatory.

[Heather Thomas @HeatherThomasAF]

Taking bets on which state will be first to cease public education.

[adam (6’4) 🇺🇸 @personofswag]

what do you mean you have $11k in "doordash debt"

[Domo Julio @DapperDomo]

Now this is a recession indicator.

[thomas @tlanese777]

Me opening tiktok every 3 minutes forgetting that it’s banned

[orb @strwbrysuccubus]

my most american take is that mm/dd/yy is the best date format. putting the month first adds context and paints a picture.

[NUFF @nuffsaidny]

USPS tracking be like:

• Package has left facility.
• We have no fucking idea.
• Delivered.

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

I didn’t get paid a dollar and that’s on my three!! I actually came out of pocket for glam and travel because it’s somewhere I wanted to be.. Like please girl you know damn well I’ll argue you down about politics FOR FREE

[ab d. roger @aliabdi]

trump is just like me in the sense that i also would give all of my dumbest fucking friends a stable income so we could be super idiots together

[M1das @M1das_OW2]

it’s so cool how everything just sucks now

[Dr. Mike Varshavski @RealDoctorMike]

No, he said on @lexfridman podcast “There's no vaccine that is, you know, safe and effective.”

Which by my definition is not only anti-vaccine but also anti-reality.

[dylan @narrenhut]

Forgetting the apostrophe here is really a tell

[Dr. Mike Varshavski @RealDoctorMike]

Jake’s really out here taking shots at the wrong Mike.

I’m at the hospital right now helping to treat sick, elderly patients and Jake is getting ready to try to beat one up.

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

I’m going to bed, but if Mike Tyson loses the fight tonight America is 0 for 3 this month in letting white men win titles they don’t deserve

[Dr. Mike Varshavski @RealDoctorMike]

It’s a sad day for those in healthcare :(