Augusten Burroughs

#1 New York Times bestselling author of RUNNING WITH SCISSORS, DRY, A WOLF AT THE TABLE, MAGICAL THINKING, THIS IS HOW & the forthcoming novel, THE DEBRIS FIELD

[Mar-a-Hell-No!! @Mar_a_Hell_No]

Imma leave this here.

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

LIFE JUST GOT BETTER https://t.co/VMJFMSm6D7

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

“If Bret Easton Ellis, Augusten Burroughs and Don DeLillo were to meet up for dinner, Self would be a logical fourth.” As if I would ever go out to dinner. https://t.co/bwoXkHshs5

[Derek Cressman @DerekCressman]

JD Vance on Taylor Swift: “I don't think many people are going to be influenced by a billionaire celebrity who I think is disconnected from the interests and the problems of most Americans.”

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Making floral toast
https://t.co/mkUYrFlBO4

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

@MiaFarrow Soon a drenched morning for us

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

Dynastic white man seated, smug as fuck, arms crossed, gin-bloated face blathering on about it's OK he dumped dead baby bear in Central Park, unidentified white woman stands arm-reach away in silence. $5,000 Tom Ford suit jacket slung over chair. Last name drenched in La Prairie

[Robert F. Kennedy Jr @RobertKennedyJr]

Looking forward to seeing how you spin this one, @NewYorker…

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

@snufflewort You have the eyes of a warrior and you radiate triumph. Stay safe.

[shak @shak_ja]

I'm rooting for Gabby Thomas. This is the type of woman I want my daughters to look up to. She smiles even when the outcome doesn't go her way, she’s hardworking, polite, tough, dedicated, kind, smart, and super humble. Some of the many reasons the world loves her. #Olympic2024

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Another Rudy Willingham's impressive creation: 120 paper cutouts recreate Simone Biles' routine

[📹 rudy_willingham]

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

Congratulations Rainbow!!! https://t.co/VW4YA279Ik

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

Not reposting this because my literary agent / husband @CRSRipley wrote it: I’m reposting it because it’s fucking gorgeous and funny and heartbreaking and wonderful.

[Christopher Schelling @CRSRipley]

The wonderful people at @prismnpen let me write about two of my favorite things: electropop and death https://t.co/wKIAXxc2Kt

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

I’ve gone from utter disgust that Trump will win to feeling 100% certain voters will elect a highly experienced and intelligent Black woman to be the first female president of the United States and that SHE will make America great again

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

Where the brown people at?

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

"We hope you fall off a ladder" would be a better marketing outreach message from ⁦@PhysicianOne_UC⁩ b/c at least it wouldnt be "we miss you" insincere. "While we always wish you well," comma reads as "however" so well-wishes are conditional. hilariously inept marketing

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

Same "paperwork" that has kept "Starliner" stranded @ the space station? And how many times has the 737 MAX 9 fleet been grounded? Boeing’s CEO, David L. Calhoun, received $32.8 million in 2023; a 45% increase over 2022, when Boeing reported almost 3 billion in losses. Paperwork.

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

🥩🥩🥩🥩🥩

[Meg Stalter @megstalter]

Corporations this month:

[Augusten Burroughs @augusten]

I’m honored to be a judge for the 2024 Ploughshares Emerging Writers Contest. Submissions open until May 15, so send in your work before the deadline. Winners are awarded $2,000 and publication in the magazine. Go to https://t.co/O5FEDZ26Q0 and click Submit for info.