My hot take is that as women, we need to let ourselves be, more and more. Wear your natural nails, your natural lashes, rock your fro. For Chrissakes, we’re human beings not machines. The whole “maintenance” and now “beauty maxxing” culture has always rubbed me off the wrong way. Women please breathe and live! There’s nothing wrong with your natural state!
Children are in the forest dying you dey write textbook for who to read on social media? Their parents? It can never be well with the president and his advisers. Ghouls. Wicked, soulless people
It’s a principle I live by; I am either committed to one person or to no one at all.
The level of dedication i put into loving and choosing one person is not something i can divide among other people.
I detest money-centeredness in dating discourse so much because heathy relationships are built on everyday unbuyable moments like inside jokes, support during a loss, praise during a win, the idea of feeling safe, valued and happy around your loved ones, etc). Yes money is important but you people make it seem like it’s the pinnacle. It’s not
Nothing will ever make me use what I read on the internet to handle my relationships😂. There are beautiful lovely committed marriages and relationships out there and I'll experience that. There are good women and there are good men. Anybody who treats their partner badly because of what they read online doesn't have sense at all.
I'll give married women some free advice...
Initiate the physical affection. It flips a switch in his brain. All the time. I know. I'm a man.
Tell him you are proud of him. It says something to his soul. 😉
But if you want to fortify the foundation of a real, everyday marriage, add these to the list:
Show genuine interest in what he's building. When he’s burning the midnight oil working on a side hustle, fixing a stubborn line of code, or trying to get a new project off the ground, just bringing him a drink and asking how it's going makes him feel like he can conquer the world.
Compliment his problem solving. Whether he finally wrangled a tricky contractor for a home project, figured out the household budget, or just fixed something broken around the house, acknowledging his competence makes him feel ten feet tall. Men want to feel useful to you. If you're doing it all, you make him feel useless and men don't like that.
Give him the grace to decompress. When his brain is fried from a long work sprint or carrying the weight of providing, giving him 30 minutes of absolute, guilt free downtime to reset before he jumps into dad mode is a massive act of love.
Be direct with what you want. Dropping hints is exhausting for both of you. Telling him exactly what you need... whether it’s emotional support, help with the kids, or just a hug... relieves the pressure of him having to guess, and he will love you for the clarity.
Remind him that you still desire him. A random wink, grabbing his arm, or a kiss that lasts just a little longer than usual reminds him that underneath all the heavy responsibilities, you still see him as your man, not just a roommate who helps pay the bills.
Sometimes, just rub his stomach.
Men carry a lot of quiet pressure. Being his safest place to land is the ultimate romance.
I'll give married guys some free advice...
Chase your wife around the house. You turn something on in her. You guys become children for just that 4 minutes running around. 😉
Lift her off the ground. It says something to her mind. 😉
But if you want to keep the spark alive in the middle of a busy life, add these to the list:
Take over the dinner chaos. When she is staring down the pot trying to figure out how to feed everyone, stepping in and saying, "I've got this," or just ordering the Friday night pizza or food so she doesn't have to cook, speaks directly to her soul.
Handle the unsexy logistics.
Give her the gift of absolute silence. Sometimes taking the kids out of the house for two hours so she can just exist in a quiet room without anyone needing anything from her.
Flirt with her during the ordinary moments. A wink across the room while you are both cleaning up the kitchen reminds her that underneath the heavy titles of "Mom" and "Dad," you are still just two people crazy about each other.
Notice the invisible labor. Thank her for remembering the scheduling, the grocery, and all the behind the scenes magic that keeps the house running. It bridges the gap and silently says, "I see exactly how hard you work for us."
The movie romance is great, but the trenches of everyday life are where the real connection happens.
Show up for her there.
I played Kunle’s body double on this project, and I can’t even begin to describe what an experience it was.
Kunle is truly that guy.
Usually, when I’m filming a funny scene, I never break character, not once has that happened in my career. But on this project? I couldn’t hold my laughter. The man is hilarious!
Go watch Altar Call now showing on Kunle Remi TV. Trust me, you’ll need that laugh.