Austin Alley

bonjour

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Hey chat will my horrific bang trim grow out in 3 days

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

How about a birthday discount from somewhere useful like 1-800-contacts

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Austin “I’m just running a few minutes late” Alley

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Me as an aunt: should I bid on this out of print French picture book for the baby?

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Running into people randomly in nyc will never not be insane to me

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Calling changing subway lines a layover

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Zendaya was in line behind me for lunch today. Kinda powerful of me.

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Weekday hangover which means I spent all day pretending I wasn’t hungover

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

A man’s pant leg tells me everything I need to know about him

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

And another thing Gen Z will never know is how to reverse a car without a backup camera

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Harper Sternmaxxing

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

This is funny

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Ken Jennings and I have the exact same taste in music it’s scary

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Being drunk in New York is such a privilege

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Friday May 22 sounds like the most beautiful date in the whole world

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

I absolutely love the little perch seats on the G

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Have running race tshirts ever looked cool even once??

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Ken Jennings and I have the exact same taste in music it’s scary

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

People next to me at dinner in LA unironically referring to Tomothee Chalamet as Timmy

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

Idk I actually don’t need to see *any* pics from 2016, thanks

[Austin Alley @austinalley]

ChatGPT is literally useless to me