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Austin Alley
@austinalley
bonjour
NYC
Joined November 2009
291
Following
310
Followers
7.2K
Posts
Austin Alley
@austinalley
3 days ago
Hey chat will my horrific bang trim grow out in 3 days
Austin Alley
@austinalley
7 days ago
How about a birthday discount from somewhere useful like 1-800-contacts
Austin Alley
@austinalley
27 days ago
Austin “I’m just running a few minutes late” Alley
Austin Alley
@austinalley
28 days ago
Me as an aunt: should I bid on this out of print French picture book for the baby?
Who to follow
xSpookyx
@mockbeefbroccly
dont talk shit about my cat. XVX.
Austin Alley
@austinalley
about 1 month ago
Running into people randomly in nyc will never not be insane to me
Austin Alley
@austinalley
about 1 month ago
Calling changing subway lines a layover
Austin Alley
@austinalley
about 1 month ago
Zendaya was in line behind me for lunch today. Kinda powerful of me.
Austin Alley
@austinalley
about 1 month ago
Weekday hangover which means I spent all day pretending I wasn’t hungover
Austin Alley
@austinalley
about 1 month ago
A man’s pant leg tells me everything I need to know about him
Austin Alley
@austinalley
about 2 months ago
And another thing Gen Z will never know is how to reverse a car without a backup camera
Austin Alley
@austinalley
2 months ago
Harper Sternmaxxing
Austin Alley
@austinalley
2 months ago
This is funny
Austin Alley
@austinalley
4 months ago
Ken Jennings and I have the exact same taste in music it’s scary
Austin Alley
@austinalley
2 months ago
Being drunk in New York is such a privilege
Austin Alley
@austinalley
3 months ago
Friday May 22 sounds like the most beautiful date in the whole world
Austin Alley
@austinalley
4 months ago
I absolutely love the little perch seats on the G
Austin Alley
@austinalley
4 months ago
Have running race tshirts ever looked cool even once??
Austin Alley
@austinalley
4 months ago
Ken Jennings and I have the exact same taste in music it’s scary
Austin Alley
@austinalley
5 months ago
People next to me at dinner in LA unironically referring to Tomothee Chalamet as Timmy
Austin Alley
@austinalley
5 months ago
Idk I actually don’t need to see *any* pics from 2016, thanks
Austin Alley
@austinalley
6 months ago
ChatGPT is literally useless to me
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