dad's tweets

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

LBs verdict on the Lion King: "I didn't like the hyenas but I did like the lion who didn't be kind"

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

I showed my wife the video of the apple headset and it made her very sad

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

@viablo2004 I feel like I'm J because I have no idea what's going on and I make stuff up, and because erasing Ks mind at the end and telling him lies he believes is pretty gaslighty so yea I'm J I think.

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

It's my 11th anniversary and we're watching Men in Black (1997)

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

Things you got wrong as a kid.

Growing up in 90s Kentucky, my only experience of the band Queen was "We will rock you" and "We are the champions" played mostly in sports and action movies. So in my head, Queen was this hyper masculine band of muscle jocks.

Turns out no

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

@gumball_eyes Like you left your drink somewhere or the concept of ice in coffee left your consciousness

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

I changed shirts at work today during lunch and I don't think anyone noticed.

The color of the shirts was the same, but the second one had a big turtle on it.

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

@gumball_eyes I don't even know what it is but yes I agree

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

Me: "Ow LB! That hurt! Why did you smack me?!"

LB: "I just... forgot"

"What did you forget?"

"Being nice to you"

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

What a day to share one of my favorite YouTube videos

https://t.co/hPU7PV66XR

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

It's upsetting how insanely natural of a wrestler L*gan Pa*l is, despite him being an all-around garbage person.

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

"Hey dada, there's a mad monster he's trying to get us we have to hide!"

"What's the monsters name?"

"... he doesn't have a name. That's why he's so mad! He wants to get us so he can take our names!"

#toddlerhorror

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

LB called me "dude" today and she wants me to hate it but I love it and I want her to call me that forever

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

@pushtheneedle I'm genuinely uninformed. What makes these buildings illegal?

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

"Dada do you have a butt"

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

COVID update: still sucks. No thank you

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

I know I'm 3 years late but now I can say first hand: COVID really sucks on the body. Knowing this was preventable and reducible and a large population couldn't care less about protecting their neighbors from this, its maddening.

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

3 years of dodging and I finally got got

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

Proud father moment today. My kids are being introduced to the Emperor's New Groove.

[dad's tweets @austinguess]

"It's kinda like lotion that you put on your hands, it lotion that you put on your skin"