Nathan Peterson

Believe it or not, I'm a human.

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

KJ: “it’s crazy how many games we play with babies that really just bully them for not having object permanence- peek-a-boo, got ur nose etc etc”

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

“Let’s have a threesome- you, me, and the Guatemalan government”

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

All the world's a stage,
If only I could read the score.
Blindly turning each page,
Struggling to find the right door.

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

Life's full of crazy ironies- Like how out of 3 days in the gym this week, the one where I do an exercise called "skullcrushers" is the only one where I don't accidentally hit my head on something.🤷‍♀️

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

@allijane32 but then you'll never know how deep the rabbit hole goes...

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

My Xbox live subscription expires on the anniversary of harambe's death. ):

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

Occasionally I feel like I've got life figured out, but then life's all like "lol u thought" and it's back to square one

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

I'm embracing my inner artist

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

I don't know how you people do it. Ya'll look better in school bathroom mirror selfies than I do in my prom pics.

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

You have to forget about the slow and inevitable heat death of the universe if you want to lead a reasonably fulfilling life.

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

I'm not an idiot, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

I sometimes wish I could retweet someone's bio

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

2 am doing homework, finds typo in published assignment, laughs about it for a while like "wow they're dumb can't even edit", then spends like 5 minutes trying to figure out how to spell "business"

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

is your child texting about acronyms??

LOL: lovingly ordered letters
SMH: syllables minimized helpfully
BTW: bless truncated words
ILU: interesting letter usage
IIRC: initials in recognizable combinations
ROFL: read only first letters
STFU: shorten text for usability

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

When you send out a 4:20 snap to so many people it's not 4:20 anymore when you hit send :(

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

When you are tightening your laces and one snaps in half, you begin to become angry; then you realize that you bought them online for $26.99, so you shouldn't expect anything else.

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

If you farm corn to sell, it's a cash crop,
If you farm marijuana to sell is it a kush crop?

[Nathan Peterson @authentichuman1]

Me: I want some good music to lift to...
Weight room: I wanna know what love is...