autumn (taylor’s version)

if I’m a lot, go find less

[autumn (taylor’s version) @autumnjager]

Really want to set an auto reply text that includes a link to schedule time to hang out with me

[Dan Kaufman @D_Kauf11]

When I visit my hometown for the holidays

[𝒜𝓈𝒽 ⚰️🦇 𝕙𝕖/𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 @gothspacedyke]

“now i send their babies presents and fuck their wives” or whatever tf taylor said

[tori @doritenholm]

Sophie Turner is currently in the impeccable position of being able to listen to Taylor Swift breakup songs literally written about her ex & I think that’s beautiful

[reb @rebmasel]

i watched tall girl sophie turner act her ass off from 14 to 23 and grow into a clearly brilliant hilarious unproblematic woman and I’m supposed to take this Disney channel side bang smear campaign ANYWHERE but serious?could’ve just filed n shut ur mouth now I’m riding at dawn

[Crash Test Meg, Head Advice Crone @MegNumbers]

What I’m learning from Barbie and the Taylor Swift tour is that women want to get dressed up and go places and have fun and men are invited but if they’re going to be a drag they can stay home, and that makes some men VERY angry.

[Jane🫧 @janesreputation]

oh to listen to folklore there

[Eggsquisite Armantè M.F.A 🥚 @ExquisiteWill]

I Need y’all to know how badly “Terrorism (FBI’s Version)” is taking me out

[zane* @zaneugh]

I can tell you the exact sonic difference in these Speak Now songs but I cant do taxes

[sheezus @ReturnofSheezus]

I think I fuck with Taylor swift so heavily because I l, too, have never been able to get over anything that’s happened to me, ever

[none gender @leftfemme]

the urge to use “🫡” in work messages is so strong but I’m being really brave about it

[Colleen @Coll3enG]

If you’re older than 25 and I see Greek letters in your bio I’m calling the feds because you are absolutrly a threat to national security

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

no one is thinking about the weird thing you said at a party they’re thinking about how armadillos give birth to four genetically identical babies at a time you’ve got to stop taking yourself so seriously bro

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

if we’ve brought back global pandemics, titanic disasters, railroad strikes, a King of England and Russian coups, we should also get to bring back the parts of the 20th century where they had cocaine in the soda and a minimum wage earner could buy a family home

[God’s baby @hondacivicselfy]

i just saw my neighbors (a couple) outside smoking, so i went up to introduced myself. without saying a word, the guy immediately went inside and closed the door. then the woman very warmly said “hi! i’m erica. that’s my husband. he’s miserable.”

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

Priest: If anyone has any objections to this marriage, speak now or forever...

Me [stands]: She's everything, he's just Ken!

[molly conger @socialistdogmom]

dogs aren’t actually afraid of fireworks, they just really hate america

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

Therapy isn’t enough I need to fight a Republican

[Colleen @Coll3enG]

If I could recommend anything to young women it’s to stay single at 19. I do not know a single woman who had a good experience with a man at 19. Just stay in your home and learn to bake it is better than whatever will happen to you romantically at 19