lauppe

Absent

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

*lifts kimono, revealing something extremely zesty*

[lauppe @avaflave11]

When a boy in class asks if you got stitches over break but it's really just an angry pimple

[lauppe @avaflave11]

Smells like swishers in my backpack but it's really just my trident layers

[lauppe @avaflave11]

She gave me a pen, I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen

[Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia]

I'm so over today that I just went to a coffee stand and said "Can I get the banana nut bran muffin please so I can shit my brains out?"

[lauppe @avaflave11]

Another day, another old man trying to touch your butt

[lauppe @avaflave11]

Just made a fight club reference to a table at work and I've never been more satisfied with a joke

[lauppe @avaflave11]

Ancient Greece was home to some of the most famous intellectuals
Now the only place you see Greek letters is at a fucking frat

[lauppe @avaflave11]

@avaflave11

[lauppe @avaflave11]

Hey presumptuous asshole, I smiled at you because it's my fucking job not because I want you to wink at me and touch my lower back

[lauppe @avaflave11]

"Ya good thing I didn't get that pink chew toy that one looked like a uterus"
Mama

[lauppe @avaflave11]

Just wanna watch movies but the internet has been a real fickle bitch lately

[lauppe @avaflave11]

@BrosConfessions @sashafedyk