Average Penis

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

Has nobody made a toilet bowl that absorbs sound instead of amplifying it? There's money to be made.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

If I had a girlfriend I'd tell her to: 'Get off my dick. Get on my dick. Get off my dick. Get on my dick. Get off my dick.. Ahhh.. '

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

Sadly can't leave my desk as I'm having to endure an involuntary 1 hour and counting erection.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@LaylatheImpaler this excites me

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@LambChloe this excites me

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@IhsanPhotos this excites me.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

People always tell me I'm full of hot air but complain when it exits via my arse.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@LaylatheImpaler you take, I'll give.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@delilahmusic OW!

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@LaylatheImpaler having a wank, thinking of you.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

Someone hold my penis for a minute. In your mouth.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

Guy in cubicle 1: your shit smells of vomit! Guy in cubicle 2: I'm touching my anus right now so please don't talk to me,

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@amytweetedthis what's that in metric mes ami?

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

Fuck off Lynx all your advertising is so sexual but if the shower gel gets inside your penis, prepare to suffer!

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

Forget sunspots I'm getting sunglasses spots

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@amytweetedthis I would wife you so hard

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@kylekinane respectfully Sir, I disagree!

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@zachbraff I was a kind dick.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes! Not you mum.

[Average Penis @averagepenis]

@BreannaNicoleM I would like to see your tank, is it tropical?