AJ 🫀

{They/Them} 🫀just a beast in a situation🫀

[bridget!! 🍸 @crimsonologist]

i’ve seen this so many times that whenever i listen to teenagers i fully expect him to say Skirt. my brain thinks thats the lyric https://t.co/3Va9jWo1RA

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

I accidentally activated the Emergency Call shortcut on my phone with my phone holder clip, barely deactivated it before the 911 call went through, and then 3 minutes later got an unrelated call from target about a recall for a candle I purchased a year ago… 😅🫣😗✌️

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

@GLCharlieG I thought nibling was used as an alternative to Nephew/Niece?
Not that Ankle as a combination of Aunt/Uncle is much better 😂

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

this changed my life a bit

via @ny1

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

I just woke up from the Benadryl Nap™ that resulted from trying to clean the filter in my vacuum. And to be fair, my dust mite allergy is usually not a serious problem until Every Dust Mite In My Apartment has been gathered into a single plastic chamber that I have to open…

[J 🐀🍒 @casketg0wn]

Behind every My Chemical Romance fan is a complicated relationship with their mother

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

I could fix my Mollymauk coat….. It would be so easy,,, NOW THAT I HAVE A WORKING SEWING MACHINE AGAIN.

[Ethan M. Aldridge @EthanMAldridge]

When you're struggling to endure all the horrors, but it's also Pride Month.

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

I know this isn’t how Bluetooth works, but I like to imagine that whenever someone else’s Bluetooth or something interferes with my headphones they’re getting whatever I’m listening to, “Ah yes did you enjoy those 4 seconds of DESTROYA? Because I did not”

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

Being the one to break the news to my castmates that the L train is down felt like some kind of rite of passage despite it being objectively the least interesting thing I did tonight…

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

Simultaneously downloading Capcut to my phone and computer is the same type of admission of guilt as wearing a hat into Sally Beauty, and also when pets start chewing faster when you ask what they’re eating…

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

Hang on, Twitter is crashing like a train in slow motion, Tumblr is being kept afloat by lemonade stand, tiktok might become illegal again, so… Does this mean I actually have to resurrect my YouTube channel for real now?

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

I love being dressed correctly for the mistakes Im making…

[trash jones @jzux]

netflix and chill is over it’s time to read books and give each other little kisses

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

Waiting to see a new psychiatrist is the worst, I need to get back on my ADHD medication, because unfortunately the task I was trying to focus on wasn’t actually “Performing Sweet Transvestite Full Voice Alone Just Because My Lower Range Can Almost Handle It Now” but here we are.

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

No, sorry, I don’t understand what you mean by “How are you doing?” I dyed half my hair red and made my coworkers listen to Look Alive, Sunshine everyday for a week. That answers ANY question you could have right now.

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

Please ignore the sounds of struggle as this incompetent twink is defeated by a plastic bag

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

The only way for me to have a universally respected gender neutral title would be to legitimately become Dr. Watson, and when I was 12 I was far more invested in this than you’d expect from someone who was still assumed to be cisgender.

[AJ 🫀 @averettjasper]

Me upon hearing my coworker open the door: “I don’t want to scare you, but I am eating soup in the dark”
My coworker was in fact, perhaps more, scared by the announcement.