Avery Ortmann

[Avery Ortmann @avery_ortmann]

*Moms at Christmas*
Child: "Mom can I have some gum?"
Mother: "Honey it's almost Christmas, put it on your list."

[Chris Udalla @Cudalla]

I’m the worlds fakest eagles fan today I can’t even spell philadollfeeya I just want justice

[Texas Football @TexasFootball]

TEXAS! 🤘

[Texas Football @TexasFootball]

HORNS WIN! 🤘

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @t0byj0hn]

me pretending like i don’t care about the love is blind reunion so it loads #LoveIsBlindLIVE https://t.co/euexInsJ97

[Dylan Burnside @DylanBurnside3]

Netflix never delayed on taking that money though!
#LoveIsBlindS4

[Houston Astros @astros]

We're giving away an exclusive Gold Box!

Retweet to win.

[Miles Luna (follow me on the sky app) @TheMilesLuna]

Melatonin: You want some help falling asleep?

Me: Yes please.

Melatonin: And you want your nightmares more vivid and real?

Me: What?

Ceiling Lady: 🅈🄾🅄 🄷🄴🄰🅁🄳 🄷🄸🄼.

[Lazzyyyyyy @em_Lazzy]

When I use 🙂 this is what I mean

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

(completely overwhelmed) will do!

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

Yes life is hard now but in the early 2000s your coworkers could secretly nominate you for What Not to Wear.

[sergeant dick lips the third @TeahLhompson]

imagine a southwest employee on the verge of a panic attack with tears in their eyes just restarting their computer over and over and from the crowd a woman approaches the bench and says hello I follow erika she’s a lawyer who reads the fine prin-

[jessicaa @JessiccaaaS_]

gap between xmas and new year’s just a week of confusion

[Alex Collinson @Alex__Collinson]

Another nepo baby (her dad is Edgar Allan).

[Rachel Moss @supitsrachel]

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

[IG: closedapp @ih8rts]

nobody :

absolutely nobody:

my brain:

[tashington @tashpocket]

pls keep your lactose intolerant friends in your prayers this week. they finna make some horrible decisions