Whenever I’m having a bad day at work I daydream about everyone on earth of my least favorite nationality getting raptured. And boy, let me tell you: that shit works
Apps on my phone if they could talk 🤣
Calculator: Any numbers need crunching, boss? I’m ready whenever
Weather app: Oh it rained today? After I said it wouldn’t? Yeah I don’t give a fuck go eat shit
WhatsApp: Soy yo Gwatsap jaja
You know how “getting sloppy” can either mean receiving fellatio or getting increasingly worse at covering your tracks in a series of crimes? Well, I think it’s pretty neat
Those landscaping guys who be blowing leaves in the middle of the road truly don’t care if you run them over. Have you ever seen one flinch? Didn’t think so