averythang

perfecting the art of bullshiting since 1994

[averythang @avesmillard]

@KekePalmer @KamalaHarris Hi! Actually if you check out the CalFresh website, families can actually spend their EBT at farmers markets and places like Trader Joe’s. Maybe promote that?

[Mark D. McCoy @m_d_mccoy]

George Floyd and I were both arrested for allegedly spending a counterfeit $20 bill. For George Floyd, a man my age, with two kids, it was a death sentence. For me, it is a story I sometimes tell at parties. That, my friends, is White privilege.

[TomCatTopDawg @CaliBoyHello]

Come protest at #GrandPark. Peaceful and filling up!! #laprotest #GeorgeFloydProtests #LosAngelesProtest #cityhall #blmla #blacklivesmatter

[averythang @avesmillard]

@ASOS_HeretoHelp hi fedex never delivered and then has sent my order back to your warehouse in Atlanta, GA. Order # 494965637 I would either like a refund or expedited ship please!!!

[averythang @avesmillard]

I wish there was 3 more of me so we could go to a bar and play fooz ball all night.

[averythang @avesmillard]

"Don't drink anything after midnight"

*chugging red wine at 11:15 like its the last thing I'll ever do*

[averythang @avesmillard]

I wonder if lil Wayne has seen broad city #askbroadcity #probablylovesit

[averythang @avesmillard]

*bitch insults queen*
"look I think we got off on the wrong foot"

"Lady that's all you got, two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes" -queen

[averythang @avesmillard]

But failing is painful. It fuels the shouldas and the couldas, which means judgement and shame are often lying in wait.

[averythang @avesmillard]

Mark ruffalo was this you asking me to marry you? If so... FUCK YES #markruffalo #iamafeminist

[averythang @avesmillard]

Looking in the mirror before going out: I shaved my legs and did my makeup, what more could they want from me.

[averythang @avesmillard]

Today's international women's day but every other day is international misogyny/patriarchy day.

[Trevor Noah @Trevornoah]

Where does Beyonce come from? It's almost like she just comes to visit us from heaven.

[averythang @avesmillard]

This thought honestly runs through my head everyday

[averythang @avesmillard]

Service provider commercials are so salty.

[averythang @avesmillard]

This is how my Friday night is going just FYI

[averythang @avesmillard]

Ps I want a Nutella crepe

[averythang @avesmillard]

I am done upgrading my Microsoft silverlight plug-in, HOW BOUT THAT COMPUTER.

[averythang @avesmillard]

"Bitch what did I tell you don't turn 22. What does she do.. Turn 22. That bitch was fucked up" -lupe

[averythang @avesmillard]

Color books and mulled wine on Christmas Day ❤️