alex 🐾

A fool of a Took, a baseball fanatic, a story fiend. I make friends with animals that have no one else ❤

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

My aesthetic is wearing my dog's leash like a bandolier

[Tolkien Society @TolkienSociety]

On 29 September, T.A. 3018 in Tolkien's Middle-earth: the Hobbits reach Bree and stay at the Prancing Pony pub. They encounter Strider, not Gandalf, who helps them evade a Nazgûl attack at night.

Art: "The Prancing Pony" by @tomashijo

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

@BNightengale

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

And the fanbases of all 30 teams rejoiced; yea, a common enemy had been defeated.

[Bob Nightengale @BNightengale]

Ángel Hernández to retire: Much-maligned MLB umpire calling it quits https://t.co/2m9QJNlkcl

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

You wanna see a photo of my 1991 homer hankies? My glove signed by Kent Hrbek? My plethora of Twins gear?

Instead I just relayed the outcome of game 7 in 1991 and said "you should look it up, was an incredible series" with the most customer service smile on my face EVER

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

Guy came into the shelter with his dog, Dodger. We chatted about the Dodgers for a sec and he asked about my team. He then asked when the Twins had last won the Series, and I told him.

"1994?" he countered.

"'91," I said, still polite.

"94." He was totally confident.

Bruh

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

I showed literally everyone I could that he did it and then began writing a last testament because I knew he was gonna putin me out a window

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

Last night I had a dream that Trump gave me his agenda for the day and it was written on a book cover for a Garfield comic collection

It was right after he shot missiles into a civilian building while aiming at a fleeing but friendly helicopter

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

Ugh do I really have to lengthen my telomeres with ~social support~ and ~healthy eating~

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

I love songs that give each instrument a solo. Lemme hear the guitar, of course, and then have the bass do their thing and then the trumpet and the sax and the trombone and then -

[MLB @MLB]

When Shohei dropped his IG post 👀

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

@SlangsOnSports Could just be Dodger lol

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

Okay these three...maybe the dodgers are kind 🤔

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

He's too kind for the dodgers

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

Shohei Ohtani's contract has significant deferrals that include most of his salary -- an idea, a source said, that was Ohtani's. In deferring the money, it reduces the cost of the competitive-balance-tax hit and will allow the Dodgers to build a better team around him.

[ER vet tech @vettechER]

Y’all give cat people a lot of shit but have you ever met a bird person?

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

Me, age 15 to my mom: it's called BABA O'RILEY, jeez 🙄

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

They don't understand why they're being poked with needles constantly. Why they're in a kennel with veterinarian staff hovering around them. (I love you clinic techs & assistants!) Why they feel like they're DYING. Because they ARE. So why even let that happen.

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

People who don't vaccinate their animals: I can pay for their treatment if they get parvo/bordetella/distemper!

Have you ever been hospitalized? It's scary even when you can comprehend what's happening to you. WHY ARE YOU WILLING TO PUT YOUR ANIMAL THROUGH THAT TRAUMA.

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

That's what it is. Trauma. And you're more willing to make your animal fight to the brink of death with a deadly disease instead of vaccinating them?

Fuck you. That is abuse.

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

The only times I am now willing to exist in crowds:
• Baseball games
• Live music
• The Minnesota State Fair

[alex 🐾 @avigenTC]

@aLittleMascara @hamsterwatch I was trying to pin down the vibe and this is it!! Very Muppets when they did Why Can't We Be Friends but that's Red all the time tbh