jazzd

probably should be doing something else rn.

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

in my defense: i was drunk and horny.

[yes, i know that's not a great defense, but it's what i've got, ok?]

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ur2dcutie YES! 😍

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@foopahh i'd say run away, but it will probably follow you

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@jasminxie they fit you perfectly 😍

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ur2dcutie counterargument: nope😱

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ur2dcutie ellie, i believed you! now i wonder what else you've been lying to us about. hmmmm

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@andiipoops can i like it twice?

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@byteofari thank you for your service 🎖️

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@andiipoops france, probably. but i kinda like portugal, ronaldo's last chance, and bruno at his peak

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@byteofari maybe if i pull these socks up past my knees, nobody will notice i forgot my pants

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ur2dcutie yeah, they heard women like "bad boys", and they think being a scary dickhead is the way

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@animelilys nah, there's too much rage bait in the world rn. give us more cuteness 🥰

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@cheekymz happy bday mags! 🎂

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ChancoCat time moves faster in some ways as you get older. something that happened 5 years ago might seem recent

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@lucyxmochi my therapist said: "smash!", i guess that's some kind of technical psychoanalytic jargon 🤷‍♂️

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@andiipoops smart funny super-cute girl with big boobs? no way! yuck! 😜

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ananun3z maaaaaybe... um, i mean NO. definitely not.

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ur2dcutie the spiral staircase can be hazardous if you've had a few drinks. don't ask how i know this.

your bed frame is probably taken apart for moving. depending on the setup, you might be able to pass the mattress and headboard up without going up the stairs

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@ur2dcutie i don't know you, but i know you deserve better. unless you meant pissed on in a fun way, then yay!

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@byteofari ophelia: out, out, damn friday!
-- hamlet: act 2, scene 3

[jazzd @avoidingthework]

@madstoopretty i'm not falling for that again!
[falls for it again] hi