Alex Tomko

CTE Survivor | 1-Time DIII College Soccer Player | Comedy Prod-Writer-Shooter-Editor | 1/2 of Local Studs

[Alex Tomko @avtomko]

this is literally how the Planet of the Apes started, and given recent events, thank God. I for one welcome our new leader, Caesar. Ape Together Strong

[Pop Base @PopBase]

40 monkeys escaped from a research facility in South Carolina on Wednesday night.

A police search is underway and residents have been advised to keep doors and windows secured.

[Gayest Tone @gayest_tone]

There’s basically two stories about the World Cup right now, it’s either

“US Customs hooks Tajik team up to the BallGrabber 7000 as they exit bus”

or

“59 year old man in Bentonville excitedly invites entire Congolese team to have breakfast with him at Waffle House”

[ballfartmonkey (Death To The Empire) 💗🏳️‍🌈🎧⛧ @ballfartmonkey2]

dudes will say this then bully a gay man into suicide

[Organizermemes @OrganizerMemes]

In a normal democracy this would be so illegal

[Alex Tomko @avtomko]

If Wemby really meant all that ethical shit he would’ve challenged his foul on behalf of the knicks there when they ran out

[Matt Carey @RealMattCarey]

it's a tough call who to believe between the guy who had every financial incentive to just shut up and keep cashing checks and the woman whose job it is to systematically destroy the CBS News apparatus without you noticing

[Fitz @FitzGSN_]

Had to put The Beast from Sicario over this

[Grant Certiorari @GrantCertiorari]

Call me crazy, but I want my tax dollars to go towards feeding hungry kids instead of bombing Iran.

[MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch]

If you turned on the TV in another country and saw the leader's daughter-in-law giving him a softball interview on a major "news" channel, you would rightfully assume that country is a tinpot dictatorship.

[adiba @780613]

new york is achieving things it has never achieved before under the mamdani caliphate

[Peter Darker @IAmPeterDarker]

Myrlie Evers-Williams just turned 93 on March 17th. This history ain’t old.

[679 Enthusiast @marionumber4]

Child rapists when the Attorney General on their case is a Republican

[Alex Tomko @avtomko]

American Century of Humiliation

[scha·den·freu·de  @BlisterPearl]

The United States has no universal healthcare, but we DO have 49 private insurance billionaires.

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

Just a reminder that Elon destroyed America’s ability to prevent Ebola, then made a big show of admitting it was a mistake, and then he just never fixed it

[Nateinthewild | Nate Luebbe @nateinthewild]

I posted these last year and had a thousand chuds in the comments calling me slurs and saying that they would never touch national parks. I’d like to take this moment to say: fuck you.

[delaniac 🌹🌱 @ChadNotChud]

“It’s immoral to be privileged in ways that others aren’t” is a deeply funny statement from the richest man on earth personally responsible for the deaths of millions of children

[Everything Price Sufferer (but especially eggs) @agraybee]

I know this is the cheesiest sentiment in the world, but honestly believe that if you have one person in your life who cares about you and who worries about you and looks forward to seeing you, you're richer than Elon Musk.

[Alex Tomko @avtomko]

Who gives a fuck if the food chain falls apart, we got kids to bomb

[FactPost @factpostnews]

The Trump administration is closing the nation's primary bee research laboratory.

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

it's genuinely crazy that Elon got free reign to do the exact thing that every "just cut spending" dipshit has wanted to do for decades, it failed catastrophically, and they're still running the exact same script like nothing happened

[The Breakfast Club @breakfastclubam]

🚨 @joshjohnson breaks down why proper journalistic research still matters after Nick Shirley incorrectly amplified a story about Minnesota child care fraud 👀 Josh explains how quickly misinformation can spread and why following the right procedures when reporting stories is more important than ever. 🎙️📰
Check out the full interview on @netflix !