Alex

[Alex @awinks123]

When a Wisconsin friend says “let’s go to the bar for a couple,” you’re definitely blacking out.

[Alex @awinks123]

*Me if I was working as the ER nurse tonight*

Me-“ so what’s bringing you in tonight”

Patient- “I’m having chest pain”

Me-“when did it start”

Patient-“ when I turned on the presidential debate”

[Alex @awinks123]

Randomly thought how I utilized the “5 mph over” for my first behind the wheel back in the day. Instructor was NOT impressed.

[Alex @awinks123]

“When you were sleeping I was gonna rub one out”

[Alex @awinks123]

Jackson Mahomes sighting at Kiel Lounge.

[Alex @awinks123]

I’m an absolute SLUT for sour cream

[Alex @awinks123]

Imagine… instead of drinking benders, workout benders..

[Alex @awinks123]

Woke up from a dream that I got a DUI. Turns out it was just a parking ticket on my car. I’ll take it.

[Alex @awinks123]

“I gotta jackoff the cat to feed the dog” -Happy Thanksgiving

[Alex @awinks123]

PSA: Don’t swerve for a damn deer. Hold on and just buckle that thing. Vehicles are replaceable.

[Alex @awinks123]

@YoungBooze69 I’m not sure what that last word is but I like it.

[IG: closedapp @ih8rts]

stabbing your cereal 3 times before the 1st bite, really does activate the flavor.

[Alex @awinks123]

Look at you dry scooping your pre-workout in the middle of the gym. Be a man, pin your ass in front of everyone instead.

[Alex @awinks123]

If Come On Eileen isn’t played at this wedding Saturday I’m leaving. Respectfully…

[Alex @awinks123]

@YoungBooze69 Ever hear of something called perseverance.

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

lil uzi was right, i like that girl too much i wish i never met her

[Alex @awinks123]

One of these times it’ll work out..

[Alex @awinks123]

Might fuck around and hit a “jersey swap” with another individual at an adult establishment this weekend.

[Alex @awinks123]

Mentally I’m just whatever honestly.

[Alex @awinks123]

“Im gonna sweet chin that pussy”

[Alex @awinks123]

The duck may swim in the lake, but my daddy owns the lake. #Holes