awkward abby.

Just a space to recount my awkward ass life.

[awkward abby. @awkwardabs]

@highfivehannie This is important.

[awkward abby. @awkwardabs]

“orrr you can just not get married AND BURN DOWN THE SYSTEMS THAT BE AND WATCH THE ASHES RISE ANEW LIKE THAT OF A PHOENIX” (with the elmo fire GIF).*silence* so I just sent a bunch of GIFs communicating jk but not really. *palpable silence*

[awkward abby. @awkwardabs]

I keep making everyone in my high school friend group uncomfortable— a thread. One gal just got engaged, and shared the news of her betrothal with us. Everyone else was super congratulatory. I didn’t know how to respond, so I just made it really weird and said:

[awkward abby. @awkwardabs]

My moment has come. A circle has formed on the dance floor. The guests chant my name as I stretch in preparation to blow their minds with the worm. Alas, I forget I’m wearing a flowy dress & show my bare ass to the entire wedding. Indelible is the unanimous “oof” from the crowd.