awkwardbecause

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when your mom makes you cry in a bob evans.. #noteventhelowpointoftheday #awkwardbecause

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when she said her pants didnt button she wasnt trying to go up a size... #retailproblems #awkwardbecause #thenputthecheetosdown

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when someone takes a picture of their drivers license and uses it as their profile pic... #awkwardbecause

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holding in a fart at work is the most challenging thing i do all day...

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All I do is watch rosanne and poop

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when jobs ask how i am at multi-tasking i always say great! i can poop,text and snapchat all at one time #lifeskills

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When you think you have to poop but then all you do is sit there and fart 🙊💨

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Pickup line of the day: girl you should sell hotdogs because you really know how to make a wiener stand 😯

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I just smashed a dozen donuts #noshame

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how many tweets do you think you read a day thats tweeted from someone pooping 💩💩

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poking me on facebook is like touching my belly button #dontdoit 👇👇👇

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#honestyhour Im not a fan of Mark Wahlberg

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#honestyhour I know I asked you how youre doing but I dont really care #ijusthavetosayit

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#honestyhour ive seen every episode of Rosanne at least twice

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I dig the remote out from under my bed to change the channel and now 3 hours later im still watching rosanne #awkwardbecause

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when you give someone a friendship necklace.... and you dont get the other half

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When I accidently start following someone I'm creeping on <<< #canttakethatback

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Saturday Rosanne Marathon #reasonsimsingle

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sitting in the middle of my bed shoving twix in my face.... #reasonsimsingle

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wildfred is hot #puppylove?