The reason behind Lagos Traffic in the past 24 hours is so complex.
From inadequate road infrastructure to unworthy heavy duty vehicles and impatience.
Hope we do better as a people.
I came across a Changan today and noticed something I genuinely wasn't expecting
A BMW engine! 😭
Before the Chinese car lovers come for me, I need someone to explain this one.
What exactly is going on here? 😂
Dear parents, your kids will resume school soon, and as usual you’d want to pack caprison and Ribena in their lunch box, see the cost of treating organ failure is far more than the time, energy and money it will cost you to make them, Zobo and tigernut juice.
Please 🙏
It is very simple here in Rivers State.
For starters, you should get at least 5 well starched white senator wears in your wardrobe.
Create a very strong nickname, very rare and intriguing one. Something like Anefreke of Okirika.
Then, form any useless organisation and award yourself some titles. Something like Ambassador of youth wetin wetin. You'll have to add these titles to your name and make it long.
Then, go ahead and create a movement. Something like, "A worldwide forum for the emancipation of the Niger Delta Youths."
With this, you can now add "convener of so so movement" to your name and use it to claim ownership of structure during political meetings.
Sell your family land and buy 2005 corolla. This would be very helpful to increase your status at the bargaining desk.
Anytime you receive calls, don't tell the person you're in Okirika, Etche, Enohua, or Ikwerre. Tell them you're in Portharcourt always. You have a meeting with SSA on whatever portfolio. The local politicians would start taking you seriously and some strong stakeholders would start approaching you for your support.
With this, you're set as a politician.
And don't forget, make sure you're always carrying 2 to 3 phones at all times and while in any meeting with some leaders, tell 4 to 5 of your friends to call you for any reason you can create. They need to know that you're a busy person.
Just a heads-up for anyone else reading this: if this ever happens to your little one, please never use a cotton swab to try and pull it out. It is a natural instinct to try, but it almost always pushes the object further back, which can cause them to choke if it drops into their throat.
Instead, doctors recommend a trick called the "Mother's Kiss."
You just hold the unblocked nostril completely closed with your finger, place your mouth over theirs to make a tight seal, and give a quick, sharp puff of air into their mouth.
The air pressure travels up and pops the object right out of the clogged nose like a cork.
It works so well and is way safer than trying to dig it out.
You still have plenty of time. Just remember to prioritise it as you get closer to the time. Suspend expenditures on cars, watches and gadgets. Also limit the charity you do.
When I was building, cement was N1,500 per bag. I automatically started to interpret “Abeg send me recharge card” as “Abeg send me one bag of cement.” Very sobering thought. 😀