*Harry y Dracaena teniendo una tarde íntima en una clase solitaria*
El putísimo Ron Weasley enfrentándose a toda la casa de Slytherin para que no les molesten:
“Out of my way, Mr. Weasley. I must see Potter immediately.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Professor.”
“This isn’t a time for games, Weasley! Potter is late for his Guerrilla Warfare Training again! It is imperative he learn before Voldemort rises to power!”
“Harry’s with Malfoid right now, Professor. I can’t let your training get in the way of them producing a bazillion heirs.”
“…what do you propose, then?”
“Leave Harry to his true calling—loving and cherishing Malfoid. Train me instead.”
“You? Weasley, I don’t know if-“
“I will never know love like they do, Professor. I am forever barred from meeting the busty tomboy version of myself. I have nothing to lose. My only goal in life is to make sure Harry and Malfoid live happily ever after.”
“…Mr. Weasley… that’s…”
“Train me, Minerva ‘Hellfire’ McGonagall. Ron ‘Chudcannon’ Weasley won’t let you down, I swear it.”