KingHabib Pilot

I fly.

[Neo Officiall @neo_officialll]

Even since I learnt ruthlessness from them, my dating life has been wayyyyy better.

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

They almost took that guy’s life that day

[Favour Y. @FavourYusuf1]

Many people who think like this are simply young and have lots of friends.

So their need for love and attention is getting filled by their friends.

At 22/23, you can have a friend group of 6-10 friends that are very close, with shared identities, and you all are very tight.

Fast forward 5-7 years, and almost all of them have gotten married and had kids, so they don't have your time again like that.

You find yourself having to make new friends over and over, only to "lose" them to marriage, work, japa and so on.

You will not realize it, but when something good or bad happens, you call your friend that you used to call and talk for hours to gist them, but they don't pick.

They reply with a text about how they are trying to out their baby to sleep, or they are spending quality time with their significant other.

And you drop the phone and realize that you are alone. You have lots of friends, but nobody to call yours.

So you post it on your status and pretend you're happy about it.

But the next time someone asks for your number, a guy that looks good, you hesitate, and you give it.

You ignore his chats as you always do, but then he asks you out for lunch or dinner and you ask yourself, "another solo dinner at home watching a show you can't even remember half of what they said, or a night of conversation with someone that you don't hate."

So you accept.

And slowly, you shall sharing your life with them. Your rants. Your random funny moments, a page from your favorite book.

And you begin to enjoy that closeness again.

Eventually, as you begin to enjoy having your own person, having someone with whom you don't have to share attention, someone that prioritizes you.

You realize that in exchange for that attention, you will also need to give them exclusive attention. You will need to adjust certain parts of your life for them to fit in and be comfortable.

It will not be obvious at first, but you find yourself learning what he likes just because you like what his face looks like when you suprise him.

You start learning what club he likes so you can send him memes when they lose. You learn what foods he likes and learn to cook it, for no other reason than watch him eat it with a smile on his face.

You don't realize it, but one day, you look up, and realize that you don't want to do life without them.

You suddenly realize that you want a life with them. And you suddenly begin to consider, "but marriage isn't that bad"

And finally, at 32 or 33, you look back at your 22 year old self and laugh at your naivety.

What you wanted, love, acceptance, and intimacy, always laid in the arms of someone that you can call yours.

So when people make blanket statements like this, often they are not being dishonest, they are simply speaking from where they are in life currently.

But loneliness is a powerful thing. And everyone will eventually seek out their mate.

[Prettyyetty @sunfloweryetty]

@TemmyOgunbo @DejiAdesogan I'm sure if your family are the one in captive, you will not care about the strategy put in place to get them back,
You only care about moral when you are not the one in the deadly situation, you think they won't have killed more after the first teacher was killed?

[Dr STAN @realBigStanH]

@MrMekzy_ @Ekene094 Yup

[KingHabib Pilot @aydj00]

Hmm

[Moe @Mochievous]

Employed a staff through an agency, agency said I need to pay them the staff’s salary for as long as they are employed, I said nope. I can pay you a commission for the search but if someone works for me, their salary would go directly to them.

[Bay of Biscayne @Decentaviator]

I will never feel comfortable posting screenshots of confidential conversations on this app sha. I don't know how you guys do it.

I won't even take a screenshot of any conversation and send it to my best friend, much less post it on this app for the viewing pleasure of strangers. That's how safe people's messages are with me.

No matter how loose or promiscuous you might be, I still respect your dignity as a human, and whatever we both do together remains between the two of us.

But guys of today are now behaving like 2020 raving feminists. Going through this thread breaks my heart, not because the women are promiscuous, but because men are now losing the title of keeping things secret.

[Abraham Omolewa @OmolewaAbraham]

I realized there are many things girlies say due to “historical stereotypes,” yet they aren’t labeled as misandry.

E.g.,
>> “Men used to go to war.”
>> “A real man provides”
>> “Men mature slower”

Apparently, only the female equivalents are “terrible” when men say it.

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

Just damaging his own son by himself

[. @EmmanuelCAdigwe]

@The_Chidimma Isn’t decency contextual?

[Can't be Nigerian!!!🇩🇪🇧🇩 @wisdom4tyn]

@The_Chidimma Can chest-flat babes even dress indecently? I’d be surprised!

[KingHabib Pilot @aydj00]

Perfectly put.

[Foundational Nupe Lawyer @egi_nupe]

One narrative that gets me sick on this app is that as a man, you have no right to publicly make your preference or choice of woman known, either you are searching for one or not. The moment you do, you have provoked the ones you do not choose. You begin to get all kinds of tags and whatnot. It’s like saying you will rsther choose rice and plantain over rice and beans and the people who are lovers of rice and beans will come for your neck because how dare you not want rice and beans? Who the hell are you to choose rice and plantain?

It’s either these people are living in self-delusion or they are just mentally disturbed and looking for those they want to pour their frustrations on at the slightest chance. Ki alaye to da aye, people have always made their choices and preferences known, and I will never understand why you should go about getting offended over the fact that you are not in the category of people desired to be chosen by a group of people.

It’s like the poor crying over the fact that the rich are marrying rich and leaving the poor out of their circle. If you want to be in their circle so bad, pray to God to make you rich or you continue to wallow in your poverty. It’s nobody’s business that you fall out-side someone’s preference. There are a million and one other persons that will also choose you.

So instead of crying over not being chosen or desired, focus on those who wouldn’t mind you as well. You cannot force people to choose you if they don’t want to and it does not mean they hate you. They just don’t want you. It is not hate, it is not dislike, it is simply choice and preference.

[Foundational Nupe Lawyer @egi_nupe]

Let me disagree with you my brother, perhaps, for the first time.

1. As a man, the only instance you need to interfere in your wife’s business is when either willingly hand over the business to you or seek your guidance thereof.

2. Forcefully taking over your wife’s business and even threatening a divorce, because you want to protect your ego or shame as a man, is nothing but the weakest form of being a man in the marriage.

3. Except the circumstances are normal and mutual, do not run a joint venture with your wife or run a joint account without a clearly defined rights, responsibilities, liabilities and obligations and this should only happen when you have spoken to a lawyer and everything is well documented. For most people who have run joint ventures with their wives and things went south, about 85% of them stemmed from the joint ventures itself.

4. Being a leader in a marriage should not because you want to protect your ego or shield your shame as a man, it should be because you are in charge and you are fulfilling your marital responsibilities over your wives and children. So the demand to be handed over a business despite his track record of mismanaging one is selfish and unbecoming of someone who claims to be a leader. No woman submits to an authoritarian leader except out of fear.

5. If she were to be my sister, I will encourage her to leave the man, opt for divorce than to hand over her business to a man who is not only lacking in business management, he’s controlling, insecure, authoritarian and weak. Such men will end up abandoning and suppressing her, when they fully become the leader they want so bad.

6. I agree with the point that an elder in the family should be involved, to at least mediate between them. But I do not think that this option has not been explored before she came out for public opinions.

7. As I have earlier pointed out, she is better speaking with a really good and trusted lawyer who is not only experienced in family laws, but also sound in corporate and commercial operations, than speaking to random people in public, whose opinions might be fueled by anger, emotions and gender bias.

[Foundational Nupe Lawyer @egi_nupe]

I have been following the issue, in fact, it started with the comment I made which he disagreed with, that caused many people to attack him for days; even though he missed the purport of that post of mine which he responded to. The person in question was among those who have in many cases advocated that men who want to consider marriage or polygamy should emulate the Prophet by marrying widows and divorcees. Even though I do not see myself doing that, I will never see any problem with any man who wants to do that. We all have our desires and preferences and I don’t think that should be a reason for a disappointment. Do I not have divorcees, widows and single mothers in my families? So why should I talk down on them or does me choosing to say I can’t be with them makes them bad for other men?

The post of his that you expressed disappointment in, I also do not agree with his choice of words, but anyone who uses this app well and has been a subject of targeted and coordinated attacks will struggle to respond or react appropriately. In fact, on 2-3 occasions, he came to my DM to ask for advice on how to react or even take up a case of defamation against certain people, I advised him not to bother with that or waste his resources on suing people who have little or nothing to lose. I told him to drop his case against such people, even though he has gone one.

It’s purely hypocritical to ignore what provoked certain reactions and continue to hold someone by the standard of their response. When people air their opinions here which you don’t agree with, simply make your points of disagreement and keep it moving. You cannot attack someone for their opinions and urge them to host you to a fine dinner with their response. If people can show their lack of emotional intelligence when responding to you, you owe them no respect or their emotions and it will unfair for anyone to judge you based on your response without what necessitated it.

I do not know him personally, but he’s one of those who respect women and has never talked down on anybody’s struggle on this app. Even when people do not agree with him, he has always found a way to air his view without insults or attacks. Being a divorcee or single mother is not a crime, if a group of men do not desire them, another group of men will. I don’t see any reason why anybody should even see that as any form of abuse or attack that will warrant all these fights.

Even for my post that seemed to have caused this controversy, I have made my own point clear and those I had in mind to direct it to. If I have my way again, I will do it over and over again. It’s a pay back time and anyone who is hurt better be ready for more, because first to do no dey pain. Many of you were here what they did and said to me for over 10days over a personal marital decision that does not concern or affect them.

It’s okay to disagree or express disappointment, but lacing it with insult to your fellow man, without understanding the genesis of everything is unfair. We can disagree without going into the gutters of attacks and insults, even there are a million of ways to express disappointment without using the same line you used.

[KingHabib Pilot @aydj00]

It seems prices of vehicles have truly crashed.

Damn, ordered a month too early

[KingHabib Pilot @aydj00]

Nurses are more beautiful than doctors on average

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

I remember when a woman asked me to a meeting, saying she wanted to commiserate with me over my loss. She even said she was family. I was about to leave the office but she said she would be there in an hour. She took two hours. 

We sat down, and it would take another one hour before she got straight to business. Then I realised why she had actually come and thought it could have been sorted on the phone. So, I said, "So why didn't you just tell me this was what you wanted?" She looked confused. 

It would've saved us both time. The idea that a performative display of sympathy was somehow supposed to comfort me struck me as absurd. In fact, it felt manipulative. Maybe she thought, "He just lost someone; don't bring up business immediately."

But it never occurred to her that pretending to mourn before bringing it up wasn't any better. It was as if she got me to be emotionally invested in her supposed relationship with me to get transactional leverage. But I’m convinced she felt she did what was righteous.

[KingHabib Pilot @aydj00]

@Galileolens Car prices are not crashing

[Foundational Nupe Lawyer @egi_nupe]

Lmao manipulate with what exactly? Not to work or do business or not to have life of her own? You need to understand that what some of us take pride in is our women doing well for themselves without having to depend on us for their basic needs, even when the chips are down. You need to make peace with the fact that it’s completely fine not to plan or choose marry someone whose sexual market value or biological clock is in decline.

Submissiveness is a natural commandment and if you can’t be submissive because you are older, constructor stay in your father’s house.

Choose your older women in peace and let others choose theirs. I don’t think this is very hard at all.

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

Poverty no dey kii woman