Mr. Brightside

I see better with my eyes closed • Genny '19 • AMDG

[KB @kbnoswag]

Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic but every October I fantasize about being married and waking up brutally hungover on a Sunday morning to my insufferable wife demanding me to get out of bed bc she wants to spend the day at the local pumpkin patch with our irritable infant child

[vince @vincestaples]

Shoutout to all the troops with bodies. Navy, Marines, Air Force all of that cause we always respect the shooter.

[KB @kbnoswag]

Bartender last night politely refused to give me her number even after I tipped her 15% and persistently kept asking for it to the point where she was visibly uncomfortable. I swear nice guys never win

[Preston D. Mitchum @PrestonMitchum]

STOP mentioning Ariana Grande with Mac Miller. It’s purely disgusting at this point. There’s absolutely no point in mentioning her. RIP #MacMiller.

[Chance The Rapper @chancetherapper]

I dont know what to say Mac Miller took me on my second tour ever. But beyond helping me launch my career he was one of the sweetest guys I ever knew. Great man. I loved him for real. Im completely broken. God bless him.

[Mr. Brightside @ayeefitz]

@TebiRex @chancetherapper Holy shit.... what’s the chance that chance has heard Tebi Rex (see what I did there)??? 😱😱

[Barstool SUNY @BarstoolSUNY]

Top 10 cults at SUNY schools:

1. Townies
2. Sororities
3. Rugby teams
4. Phys Ed majors
5. Out of state students
6. Lax bros
7. Garbage plate eaters
8. The mug club
9. RA’s
10. The cross country team packs running through campus

[Mr. Brightside @ayeefitz]

@PalestDame HAAAAAAA wow that’s a ride

[I am NOT Filmore! @tebiflex]

I'm at that fun stage of my celibacy where I've forgotten how to flirt with women.

But I'm at peace with it. I've reactivated my sharigan.

[Mr. Brightside @ayeefitz]

@tebiflex @tiverecool Holy shit ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

'Rick and Morty' has just gotten a 70-episode renewal from Adult Swim -- Which is more than double the number of episodes the cartoon has already produced.

[KB @kbnoswag]

Your mcm took 60mg of adderall and drank an entire 32oz can of Monster just to study for his Intro to Biology final that’s tomorrow morning. He’s in the library right now sweating profusely and writing the definition of “nucleus” on a flashcard. He needs a 118% to pass the class