larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD

yummy and believes in magic (also has an EGOT cuz apparently that matters)

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

people are addicted to having babies. like what happened to going swimming or going in a hot tub

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

jeans are so ugly

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

let me twerk. let them twerk. #twerk

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

at orientation rn. taking everything in me to violently hold myself back from twerking

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

they should never make waitresses wear ugly baggy clothes. if waitresses want to look good they should be allowed to in the way that doctors can wear figs scrubs. where is the figs for waitresses?????

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

men shouldn’t exist i’m serious

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

i’m so scared of men

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

men shouldn’t be allowed to be ugly oh my god i’m actually so scared

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

hailing out of my eyes about seymour

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

not sure why i wasn’t nominated for a jimmy award. i’m not in high school and didn’t do any musicals in high school but that’s semantics

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

i have never been dressed appropriately for anything in my entire life

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

just cried about musicals in general

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

you shouldn’t be having a son but if you do you better name him bike

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

say crash out one more time i swear to god i will crash my honda fit into your living room and then i will take the biggest most crashing and booming exploding sh*d in your guest bathroom you will never be able to unclog it

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

whenever i have to pee i get really close to killing myself

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

a romantic relationship with a man is NOT the time or the place to be a good person

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

sometimes you have to look like shit

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

gonna start listing my paper plate awards on applications

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

goyard bags look like free reusable grocery bags from the discount grocery store

[larry mcpoopyfartpants, PhD @azaleadancer3]

the butterfly defect. that’s when you regret the stupid thing you did like forgetting your lactase or starting a job that you hate