B✨

running on dunkin, red bulls and miller lite • she/her • 🦅

[lex updog @niceupdog]

dolly parton will return as a hurricane to destroy the white house

[bethany @thenightbethore]

no bras tomorrow for anybody. tits at half mast

[Keith Campion @keith_campion]

If Dolly Parton can gift 20million books a year to children, why can’t Amazon, Apple and Microsoft do something like this??

[♡ @ArtCelineLove]

I've already given it my all this week and it's only Tuesday.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Microsoft Teams is already terrible, but changing your status from green to yellow because you haven’t moved your mouse in 5 minutes is diabolical. And you can’t override it. Whoever designed this, I hope both sides of your pillow are permanently warm.

[k @ysljennii]

girl grip

[✮ @istgnolimit]

"people you may know" & it's someone i'd set on fire

[🥷 @_iamhabeeb]

Introverts don’t hate socializing. They hate pretending.

[🍂 @Lovandfear]

No, you cannot walk 10,000 steps daily, get 8 hours of sleep, cook every night, clean every day, take care of a family, make time for your own hobbies, and still be productive at work every day. This is not just propaganda, it is nonsense. Free yourself from it.

[Garrett Hughes @Garretthughes]

Contractor came by this morning, shook my hand but not my wife’s.

Brother, I cannot emphasize enough how badly you have misidentified the decision maker in this transaction.

[Deb @DontCallMeDebby]

If a president tells a reporter to “be quiet,” the next reporter should repeat her question.

And the next one.

And the next one.

[I Smoked Lindsey Graham @BlackKnight10k]

Yall need to apologize to Hunter Biden

[MZ @marriamz]

life’s too short to not meow & pspspsps at every cat you cross paths with

[miia @miiagarro]

"you look mean"

i am.

move

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

What a horrible time to be alive for everyone who is educated and has empathy.

[‎ً @cyberfeeels]

"Do you mind if we cancel?"
Me:

[G. F. Allen @AuthorGFAllen]

You don’t actually have to be good at your hobbies. You’re allowed to just enjoy them and suck at them.

[David Hogg 🟧 @davidhogg111]

Democrats should introduce national paid sick and parental leave and call it the MITCH Act. If you can be missing from your job for months as a U.S. Senator and still collect your full paycheck, working Americans should get the same deal.