Assalamu alaikum,
His Eminence the Sultan of Sokoto has announced that Saturday, March 1st, marks the beginning of Ramadan 1446, following confirmed sighting reports from Maiduguri and Bama.
Ramadan Mubarak!
I first got this idea, I think from Shaykh Yunus Al-Madani (Hafizahullah) in one of his classes on Tarbiyya at the Islamic Learning Center, Katuru Road, Kaduna far back in 2003 or so, when I was an undergraduate student, during a semester break. Then I have heard it again years later from another Scholar that I can't remember shortly after I got married in 2010.
As husband and wife, do you at all sit down and review your marriage? The gains? The grey areas? The loopholes? The areas of contentions? As the husband, the supposed head of the family, have you ever thought of that? Have you ever asked your wife, "Babe, come. In this our 5, 8, 10 or 20 years of marriage, what are those things I do that you don't like? What are the things I do that you like? Where and where do you want me to improve? What do you want me to do differently? And so on. The moment you open up on that, trust me you will hear them plenty. No marriage is perfect, but you can make it very beautiful when you sit and assess your roles in making it better. As the wife, do the same. Ask him, "Babe, which areas should I improve on? Where do you think I should do better? And so on?
If we do that with all sincerity and work hard to take corrections without being self defensive, it will help us greatly in building a happy home.
But as the man, and considering our African tradition, I think it will be much easier if you always initiate the discussion.
I have done this several times, and 14 years into my marriage, I can only say Alhamdulillah. There are things I never knew I do, but such moments make them clear to me. There are some I know I do, to which I apologize and always make frantic efforts to change them for better. And I have always improved.
It is a work in progress. We are all work in progress. Our marriages are as perfect as we make efforts to make them.
AS HUSBAND AND WIFE, HOW OFTEN DO YOU SIT AND REVIEW THE TERMS & CONDITIONS OF YOUR MARRIAGE?
Yes. Marriage is a contract, and has terms and conditions.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“The basic principle with regard to conditions in the marriage contract is that they are valid, unless there is proof to show that they are not valid."
He supported that opinion with the following verses of the Glorious Qur'an:
“O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations” [Surah al-Maidah 5:1].
And
“And fulfil (every) covenant. Verily, the covenant will be questioned about” [Surah al-Isra 17:34].
There are some clear Hadiths too, which the scholars do cite, regarding this issue. For example:
The hadith that says:
“The Muslims are bound by their conditions, except a condition that forbids what is permissible or permits what is forbidden.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1352).
And where, he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), said:
“Whoever stipulates a condition that is not in the Book of Allah it is not valid, even if he stipulates a hundred times.” Narrated by al-Bukhari (2155) and Muslim (1504).
Whatever valid conditions, written or unwritten you have stipulated in your marriage, that the two of you both agreed, it must be respected, and it should be reviewed time to time. Reviewing the terms is to reassure each other that you're still on this together, if you are. And in the event that you're not, you can realign, renegotiate & clearly state your position on how things should be, going forward.
In our business laws for examples, when we draft contracts, we do have several clauses that allow for periodic reviews or renegotiation of terms.
There are instances we make specific provisions stating that the contract’s T&Cs should be reviewed at agreed intervals. For example, a contract might state that T&Cs should be reviewed every two years.
We do have Force Majeure or Change in Law Clauses sometimes, where if unforeseen circumstances or changes in law impact the contract, these clauses might provide grounds for reviewing and potentially altering T&Cs, and so on. The lawyers can correct me where I am wrong or add to this.
Let me proceed.
Re-introduction!
@Tyme4tour is a Kwara based tourism firm that offers tourism and its related services such as;
▪️Tour guiding
▪️Tour operation
▪️Destination Marketing
▪️Car Hire Services
▪️Hike & Adventure trips etc
You can reach us via call/Whatsapp 08155131763
Thank you👌
FASTING VS STARVING
1. Fasting targets your body fat while starving goes after your muscle and organs.
When you’re starving, it means there’s no more fat to burn. Fat is an energy reserve your body stores. When you start fasting, your body feeds on this energy source.
If you don't have a meaningful source of income, you have no business getting married whatsoever.
All these students getting married without any source of income should stop, abeg!.
All in the name of "we don't want to commit zinna (fornication)", they will get married and start constituting nuisance to us when reality dawned on them.
It is very simple, don't even bother approaching a lady for a relationship if you are still in school, if actually you don't want to commit zinnah.
Concentrate on your studies, graduate, get a job and then come back to the lady to marry her.
If Allah destined that she is your wife, you will still meet her unmarried, if she is not, vamoose and go try your luck with someone else.
Ewo ni gbogbo rakatia yi gan na 🤷♀️
Ladies, please go and get sense!
You are in 200 level, and he is in 300 level, but because your " DAWAH Ustauz" told you that courtship is Haram, that marriage is better immediately you start loving a man, then Gbam! You carry the boy go home say you want to marry him.
They have kuku told you that a wedding (Nikkah) in the sitting room with less than ten people has more blessings, so in your head, you believe you guys are safe from looking for money for ceremony, cabin biscuit and pure water (sachet water) will come to the rescue.
Upon all the advice your family gave you to make you realise that Nah school dem send you to study, no be to go and be looking for "Dickson" iro ooo, Nah the back of your ears everything fell to, you sha won marry yi naani.
You want to start eating wetin your mama dey eat.
The booda loves you and you love him too, kuma courtship is haram, therefore Ile Oko ya!
Mama pleaded Papa cried, you carry axe 🪓 put for head, and they were forced to send you off.
They beat drum 🥁 for you (won pa ilu fun e), just like my mother used to say "Oni iya nio je eyi to po" (it is the owner of the suffering that will take the most of the sufferings)
and I used to add to it that...
that was in the olden days, you see now, Oni iya nio je gbogbo iya (Nah the owner of the suffering who will experience her sufferness alone, no one will share from it, she will take everything)
Okay...
Now that you are married, following the path of what you were told by your "dawah teacher"; "family planning is haram" and the booda too does not know how to withdraw his "qalam" (pen) from your "igo tada" (ink bottle) A.K.A. Honey pot so that excess ink will not drop inside, he just dey shoot dey go ni. Bullet con dey scatter everywhere.
You kuku know that God is merciful, he just kept putting Barakah in every seed planted in your fertile land. Oyun bade. (Pregnancy don come).
Throughout the nine months, you guys didn't buy a pin for the preparation of the newborn.
You as the "understanding wife" kept saying that Abu is trying because he used to buy you Akara by the junction every night from his pocket money given to him by his parent therefore if he has, he will do but he doesn't have ni.
Now you have no choice but to be calling your family for help as delivery time is near, and as parents they can't watch you their lovely daughter die out of pregnancy and delivery challenges that may arise, then they are forced to bring out money to save your life. Hmmm, awon Abiyamon tooto.
Alhamdulilah, you have delivered a baby boy, just exactly like his dad, after the naming, everybody returned to their houses, you relied on the clothes and money that people gifted you for the baby, and later in the night "Abu" in his sweetest of tongue, sweet talked you and collected all the money you were gifted from you because he was about to start his project and has a small girl too, you don't want to mismanage the money, hence why you gave him.
No food in the house, no milk in the breast, still living in one BQ not too far from the school, you don't even have enough strength to go to school again, even if you go, nothing can enter your head because you are very hungry.
I am excited to announce that I have been appointed Special Assistant to @RealAARahman on Drug Abuse, Prevention, and Control.
Together, we will work towards curbing this menace that has been inimical to the development of the state.
#DrugFreeKwara
Assalamu Alaikum See how many questions you can get correctly from this week's Islamic quiz, it's 20 questions as usual.
1. The muslims call to prayer is called ?
My Dad accidentally taught me an important lesson about HONESTY which is the reason why I can never be involved in any form of FRAUD;
When I was in JSS1, my dad was so broke and we were all living in the same room, my parents and six kids;
One night, I woke up to my Dad....
A new dawn in our Professional Careers. Lots of upcoming Quantity Surveyors are going to be demoralised from professional membership henceforth. May Allah provide for us to continue breathing.