Ben

yee-haw

[holly @faberrify]

Im NOT homophobic in fact i have 2 gay dads See i was born out of love My two dads screened potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ Then they mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster To this day we dont know which one is my real dad which i think is pretty amazing

[Ben @b_schwert]

I quote this weekly

[allie @odelllrry]

this tweet changed my life i’m not kidding

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

I feel bad for anyone who doesn’t watch Women’s March Madness too. There is nothing on the Men’s side that compares to rooting for Kim Mulkey’s downfall.

[erika @yeeeerika]

per my last crash out

[m @msnetik]

coming out publicly as a Pokémon adult

[Ben @b_schwert]

Good

[wanky @wanky_brittana0]

the gleek population is getting scarce

[Jayden 🇳🇴🇪🇸 @GRIT0DESAUDADE]

cause why would xi jinping want to flood my basement and rust my bowflex?

[empanada daddy @empanadadaddy23]

Why do gay guys love Gengar so much

[via @atrophicbtrfly]

*person who is incredibly bitter* no like i actually don't give a fuck

[Alison Burke @TiredActor]

When the weather gets warmer I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

[sophia @pastoralcomical]

pry january … i’m getting nosy

[Ben @b_schwert]

me

[im unc @bl1sterex1sts]

Bitches be like, "I know everything" and then get last place at trivia night

[Rose Dommu @rosedommu]

Scaling the walls outside the cottage security is trying to shoot me down

[Ben @b_schwert]

@emilyehman Iconic!!

[vitor @connellwaIdron]

she’s so real for this

[ant 🐜 lauren kyle1 stan account @firelilyluke]

i hope new yorker (!!) cartoonist henry bliss is enjoying heated rivalry

[𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓮 - 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓭𝓽𝔀𝓽┆𓆩♡𓆪 @SilencingNotes]

have a panic attack and throw up

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

would you ask God to rank the splendid oaks he studded across vast Midwestern savannah ?