Malt Lizard

Cody. Maker. Musicker. Art. Funny.

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

is it not called a tweet anymore? like why are we tweeting if it’s called x? how can the dumbest person in the world also be so rich?

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@closet_jock ya i always hated getting there at 4pm and having to be there til like 1am to take home 1/4 of a shitty payout.

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@the_dadeleine the only dad i care about

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@closet_jock sooo many dumb intersections

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@memehareb how rude

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@closet_jock lmk when you find out

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@closet_jock @ElaniKitten goodnight adria jumping over the moon

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

if the cook don’t look mad as hell when he tosses you your basket, you’re eating at the wrong dive bar.

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@memehareb on a cloouuuudddyyy day

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

The year was 6942. Wait no, that’s my checking account balance…

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

why do bar urinals always look like some one tried to shit in them?

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@elonmusk can u ban me from twitter? please? it would be an honor sir.

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

depression, but make it fashion. deprashion.

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@memehareb #superchill

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

@the_dadeleine ya i agree

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

best part of the pandemic was not having to buy new clothes and now two years later people are like “wow love your jacket!”

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

everyone’s all acab til the cops recover their stolen subaru

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

freddy got fingered vs jason

[Malt Lizard @babedylan]

Cervix a lot