Ami Martini

weird, but nice. horror queen. just livin' the lucid dream.

[Ami Martini @babephomet]

Remembering the good ol' days? Feeling the ache of nostalgia? Then comfort yourself in knowing it's just a cerebral disease of demonic cause that originated from continuous vibrations of animal spirits throughout your middle brain.

[Channel 4 News @Channel4News]

"You're selling us self-consciousness." Jameela Jamil explains why she thinks the Kardashians are "double agents for the patriarchy", in the latest Ways to Change the World podcast.

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

people used to die young in the olden days because there was no internet so you couldn't beg for money to pay for your medical bills

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

I literally cannot think of anything crueler than not giving a white man a second chance with options for a third and fourth

[Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins]

The fact that Louis, a comedian whose whole thing is plumbing the depths of his own psyche, apparently didn’t mention his most recent, famous news in his surprise set tells you all you need to know about his desire for “redemption,” right?

[Ami Martini @babephomet]

I am so tired. All of the time. #💀 https://t.co/FLP86m1A1S

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Hundreds Of People Exactly Like Manafort, Cohen Enjoy Another Day Without Any Consequences Whatsoever https://t.co/FdYRurTDsD

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

😂 😂 😂

[Ghoul Cop/Bat Cop @ghoulcopbatcop]

Happy #Frightday, y'all! Celebrate the weekend with a demonic twist on a margarita and listen to our brand new eep!sode at https://t.co/xiL7jjiGmu! #podcast #horror #ItsTimeToPlay

[Eugene Mirman @EugeneMirman]

“Who are we to say what democracy is? Anything can be democracy. Maybe this lamp is democracy? Or maybe this bag of fudge? Who knows??” https://t.co/S3KuApJTcb

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Halloween is on a Wednesday in 2018. What a shit year this is.

[Ami Martini @babephomet]

@pixarcoco just fucked me up. I'm not crying YOURE CRYING

[Ami Martini @babephomet]

Do you think there are people out there that haven’t seen Pleasantville?

[Ami Martini @babephomet]

Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family- and get drunk to forget how much you hate spending time with family. Try mixing pumpkin ice cream, root beer, and whiskey together for a Poot Beer Float. #amydranks

[AsapSCIENCE @AsapSCIENCE]

Which model would you pick to be your helper?

[@tomgauld for @newscientist]

[Ami Martini @babephomet]

@MadMrgrt But Cretaceous is a period! Mesozoic is the era 🤓 Is this a trick question? I’m confused. Gonna go with Paleozoic tho. The Cambrian explosion really gets me goin.