Joe

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

they should make a law regulating car manufacturers to make all blinkers have the same length of time between blinks.

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

@LauraLoomer your mouth is running away from your other facial features

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

i’m putting all my money into lobster fried rice

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

Boston should have a red light district

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

as a man, you can be romantically and sexually attracted to another man and still be straight.
the exception that proves the rule.

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

the best toilet in the world is the one that you own.

[prezoh @prezoh]

this how i feel choosing to be gay for attention

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

need me a hairstylist who’s buff and has a strong jaw line and stares at me with disgust the entire hair cut

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

James Patterson is the Taylor Swift of writing books

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

napoleon was kinda doing tip2tip russia in 1812

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

if M. Night Shyamalan wanted to make a crazy twist, he should have his last movie end without a twist. like the twist is everyone expecting a twist. and then there’s no twist. that’s the twist.

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

homophobic rocky be like
“need word for man who like man slur”

#pride #pridemonth

[Trassel ❀トラセル 🇫🇮 @trasselvardias]

The true gay agenda

[Tomodachi Life Updates @TomoLifeUpdates]

Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

@uglyfatty67 “…i mean look at u” - ugly fatty

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

The only showers I will be taking now are ice bucket showers until either I can afford oil again or until I get drafted.

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

I feel like crosswords are reverse ableist.

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

when studying economics DO NOT LOOK UP TRUMP INFLATION.

TRUST ME ON THIS

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

Ritalin is arkham knight detective mode in real life

[Joe @baconranchsalad]

What is Cyberpunk even about?
I just fucked someone I was neurally linked to while in a tank WHILE also dying of a frozen japanese computer chip that’s making Keanu Reeves eat my brain.
how the fuck do I explain this shit to other people??