carter stenseth

#winning like a boss. I'm an incredibly good looking guy, i dont try to be I just am

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

In my house growing up we found many uses for everyday items. Like to "normal" people fire alarms are not used for dinner bells.

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

@nicewhitekid go away

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

Porn is so frowned apon.. So now I just go to art museums to 'pull my goalie'

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

It's weird when I go #Halloween shoppin and think that I would wear most of it any day of the week. #styleissues #everydayproblems #immature

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

Whenever something new arises everyone instantly are fucking experts #Ebola #isis #globalwarming ready for people complaining doing nothing!

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

I hate babies, they can puke and shit and people are like that's so cute look at that baby, and when I do it, oh look carter is drunk again!

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

I'm having sex and suddenly stop, the girl is like "what are you doing?" I'm like shut up I seen it on porn it's called buffering #sexlife

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

The first moment I felt like a real adult was when I signed up for my own Netflix account @netflix #goodbyelife # keepbluemountainstates

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

How much better would the bible be if they sent Chris angel back in time?! #keepsmeupatnight @chrisangelreal #butseriously

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

I feel like every ghost might be a Jedi. Just pushing things around practicing the force #jedi #starwars #whoyougoingtocall #ghosts

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

I don't steal things until cashiers look at me like I'm about to steal something. #cashiers #stealing #sorrynotsorry #jkpausenot

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

I would like to thank the person who invented the word lisp and put an S in it. Lithp #firstworldproblems #lol #fucksalt #roflcopter #shitty

[Taylor Seeley @seeley101]

People are 90% water, wait never mind I'm thinking about watermelons #shitcartersays @baconstrip69

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

Courtesy of the C.F

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

Courtesy of the C.F

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

The sounds of women's tennis <3 #WelcomeBackTwitter #And @Ilikegirlsdaily

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

#BrewJays you guys looked good today, to bad we didnt play that way.. #LetsHearABang

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

Worst horror movie I have ever seen ever.. it wrecked all other scary movies I have seen.. #DontRememberTheName

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

Garrit gives a hole new meaning to Horse dick dot empeg..

[carter stenseth @baconstrip69]

drunk twitter im back.. #H2oForLife I found @apalmer4 .... too soon? yeah too soon...