Bad Crab Facts

here to educate ya'll.

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Sometimes crabs get lost under water. Theres no GPS down here. I'm back on land for a bit.

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

@TUMSOfficial Imitation crab meat doesn't give you indigestion. Crab meat does. Choose wisely my friends #beanticrab

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

@marinaisntfunny @Grubhub @PapaJohns This is insensitive and us Crabs won't stand for this. @dominos you will always be my boo

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

@Grubhub @PapaJohns Bacon (most definitely NOT crab)

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

The animal Channel needs a #crabbowl we are better than puppies bc we can run sideways

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

I have now heard of this cultural phenomenon where people say "Bing bong"? I'm pretty pumped to know the hip cool lingo. #underwater #cellservice #joebyron #quack

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Update: Eric the human actually stole the watch and blamed Andrew the oyster. He is still psychotic though, damn #bivalve

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Andrew the psychotic oyster took one of my watches. #stupidoysters #oystergangdontriseup

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

I bought a #Rolex and it fell off so I bought 7 more. I now have one for each arm. #megatime #daylightsavings

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Crab Fact: I failed my driver's license course again >:(
#nothappy #veryunlit #manylegsmakeiteasier

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

It's because #Eric has apparently a "claim" to paper routes and now he has a "lawyer" involved. #ceaseanddesist more like #starttoresist #crabs #GreatNewspaperwarofDesMoines

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

BREAKING: all #Eric's are considered enemies of the state of #Crabbia and from this point on all crabs CAN and WILL #pinch you ERIC you STINKY

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

PSA, the new #crab & #crayfish alliance is yielding BIG results. Why just yesterday we got our first paper route in #desmoines look out #IOWA!!

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

To be clear the big song for us is #Rio - the #freshwatercrabs finally have a #voice

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Most #crabs came of age in the 80's, so @duranduran making #music again makes crabs feel warm inside, but not too #warm #sizzling #ears

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Most #crabs came of age in the 80's, so @duranduran making #music again makes crabs feel warm inside, but not too #warm #sizzling #ears

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Dropping your "returns" in the #ocean doesn't count. Plz #Recycle #notcoo

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Crabs are ready. Except for the crabs off the coast of Alaska. Theyre jerks. #jerks

[Reese Witherspoon @ReeseW]

In the (near) future, every person will have a parallel digital identity. Avatars, crypto wallets, digital goods will be the norm. Are you planning for this?

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Back from #hibernation just as all crabs do once they graduate from Doctoral School. I'm now Dr. Crab

[Bad Crab Facts @badcrabfacts]

Crabs don’t like flying. Please put us down #seagulls #fearofflying #heights #wedontcrackopen #seriouslywedont