@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial)

If you follow me here (all 72 of you atm), PLEASE GTFO this birdshite and follow me on mastodon.

I continue to not be 3 dwarves in a coat

#GNUTerryPratchett

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

@amazon @dpd

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

to see you on the other side. (2/2)

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

Through my inattentiveness at work I caused a minor data breach.
As a result of this my internet usage is now being heavily monitored.
Typing with my crooked old thumbs is an anathema to me.
So I will not be scrolling or posting for the next month.
I miss you all and hope (1/2)

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

Mrs Monkeyboy has gifted me a dose of the plague.
Or as she calls it "a bit of a cold".
It may well have been a bit of a cold when she had it, but I'm pretty sure it has mutated into something far deadlier to my fragile male body.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
boost this cat instantly
https://t.co/RgYzlAxpc2

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

So, Population one is a surprisingly good laugh.
As long as you mute the inevitable shouty little VR fucknuckles.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

The english alphabet only used to have 25 letters.
Nobody knew why.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

Three days of light work and plenty of sleep. I should feel amazing.
I feel unreasonably anxious.
It's like my body has got used to shit being awful all the time, and now is on high alert because the awfulness has dropped below critical levels.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

My local Tesco's have started stocking Eagle Rare bourbon,
and that is why I have had a hangover for the last two mornings.
It is also why I will have a hangover for the the next two mornings.
It's so fucking nice.
slurpy slurpy nom nom.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
Reposting because I do not boost images without alt text.

#Queer #Family #LGBTQcommunity #QueerAndHere
https://t.co/VAdpTRJ3bH

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
doot spider-mum
spider-mum
died from too much
spider cum
https://t.co/sSxZ4HiBxa

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

Well that's fucking weird.
Just listened to Alien Ant Farm's cover of smooth criminal, and realised my infected fingernail was throbbing in time with the music.
Rock on you little puss filled digit.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
Conservative donor quits the party, saying he's been told that Sunak plans to "run a culture war" in order to distract from the government's "fundamental economic failings."
https://t.co/aqJtvLyfkq

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
https://t.co/dn8gJH3oSi

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
Your new anti work spokesperson
#antiwork
https://t.co/R5bdHprYuk

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

I don't like coffee, I fucking hate mushrooms, and tax dodging corporations make my piss boil.

So I felt like Mr Rictus trying to smile at the shitty costa coffee and mushroom roll that the work newbie got me.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

I have hay fever in February.

what the fuck

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
The iPod Shuffle SE 2021 was a reintroduction of the iPod Shuffle’s original 2005 “chewing gum stick” design but with an integrated single-use SARS-CoV-2 antigen test. (Optional lanyard sold separately.)
https://t.co/u2cAkgtFFZ

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

That feeling when a big account boost your toot, and no one else favorites it.

[@[email protected] - (🗹unofficial) @baddogmonkeyboy]

RT @[email protected]
shoes
https://t.co/9iynnDjxVg