love is the gradual acquisition of the right to ask increasingly mundane questions (“how was your day?” — unspoken but implicit in it, besides the genuine curiosity, is “i hope it went well”)
I think most people (including me) get way too metaphysical about relationships and lost in questions like “can this person change?” or “why are they doing what they’re doing?” and generally would benefit from focusing more on behavior. like if the behavior is sufficiently concerning you have to just abandon the metaphysics