doctor bitchcraft

nightmare tramp

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

I love opening the hood of my car when the check engine light comes on and taking a lil peek as if I’m gonna have any idea what’s going on in there

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

In its defence that shit was successfully boiled out of my body but wow what an over reaction

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

how do I schedule a 1 on 1 with my immune system to politely tell it that next time I have a uti I can actually just go get antibiotics for it and it doesn’t actually have to freak the fuck out and have me bedridden with a fever for two days and ruin my whole week

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

And don’t even get me started on drug preferences like what is this bullshit algorithm you guys are using because I can not figure out why you want me to date these people who I clearly have very different lifestyles from and different wants from

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

can @hinge pls explain themselves on why they keep making me most compatible with people with “want children” in their bio when I have “don’t want children” like that does NOT ACTUALLY SEEM VERY COMPATIBLE

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

No one talking about how Andrew tate was like “🤪 I’m not gonna recycle this pizza box” and like… ya it’s actually not recyclable?? Put it in the compost my orange jumpsuit king 🙏🏻

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

I think my annual “moved out as a teen so now whenever I visit my parents house for longer than a few days I revert back to an immature brat” phase was successful this year, one of the highlights was today when i left a single grape tomato in the package in the fridge

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

@CBAlan777 @buggirl You realize that someone that has 60k in equity donating 5$ is the equivalent to some with 1B donating 16.5k like yes let’s PLEASE play the equivalency game because middle class people 100% donate more per their equity than billionaires do

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

I discover empathy towards boomers when I try and use an android the same way straight guys discover empathy towards everyone when they do psychedelics

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

People love to say 30 is the new 20 but I’m 27 and going home at 10:00 bc I have a headache and I’m a little tired

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

I miss mbc tiktok so much I’ve never been so mad about the fast paced trend cycle before

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

how are people upset about QE dying when the real tragedy is we’re gonna have ugly Charles on our money now 😭😭

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

not me texting my dad a novel about my thoughts on new lotr series (lotr being one of his passions in life) and asking him his thoughts and him replying with just “:)”

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

went to a patron influencer event last night and drank so much free tequila I woke up with a scrape on my chin (obviously ate shit pretty hard and don’t remember it) so I have a small amount of respect for ~influencers~ to be able to get so much free liquor and still look good

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

I missed putting sunscreen on two little spots on my back when I was fishing yesterday and not it looks like it have two ovals branded on my shoulders. Summer is officially cancelled if I can’t wear tank tops anymore no body can.

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

Me to myself after completing a menial task I procrastinated for days: we did it Joe :)

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

Wild how Instagram notes went from “okay this could be neat as long as people are funny and not cringe with it” to “this is somehow worse than 2009 Facebook statuses” in literally 2 days

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

one of my simple joys on the internet is reading the comments when a vegan cooking account accidentally posts a non vegan recipe on ig

[doctor bitchcraft @badgalolivia]

@NastyChels do you want me to hoard gas in trash bags for u