moth 🍂

19 • any prns!! • ..ednos curse 🌞 • vegetarian • just don’t be a dick

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

unfair that nuts are so hard to purge and yet cashews are one of my go-to’s in a binge 💀

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

sat by toilet trying not to fall asleep bc i binged and my brother came downstairs as soon as i was about to purge , what us taking him so long wgat is he shuffling in the closet for

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

@franspirals there because it’s worth it. your life is worth it, even if it’s not as straightforward of a path as we wish 🫂

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

@franspirals with any attempt to change, it’ll have to get worse before it getd better bc we’re just so wired to safety and familiarity. i hope you can remind yourself of that and give yourself grace in this process n take it slow. you absolutely deserve better and youre gonna get

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

but i think im right about restricting just being a form of sh when i got clean bc ive been stress eating like crazy in Nov and making up for it by cutting or purging instead lol just gotta harm in one way or another, how my life has always been 😻

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

when i relapsed sh, i told myself i wouldnt let it get back to what it was n in a sense i havent? it’s not nearly as frequent but damn i gotta go much deeper for some satisfaction

before i was fine w cat scratches tho so it’s not like going deeper than that js dangerous yet lmao

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

polysporin is in my room so i just walked out of th e bathroom, open cuts on my wrist that Finally stopped bleeding as much, tp in hand and my mom was standing at her doorway. i fucking turned away so fast LMAO what a jumpscare that was so so close

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

oh my goodness i love my scars

[vila🧃 @sunhakyaoi]

ive never done aftercare i just raw dog it and hope for the best

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

oh i should just never eat again. i cant control myself at all holy shit

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

and how i must be fundamentally broken as a person so im one incomprehensible mistake away from losing all my friends but boba and binge urges sounds better

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

borderline panic attack on my extra long walk home bc of boba and binge urges

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

@franspirals

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

@carmenvious real actually. i love seeing how my brain n mind changes when im fasting, wish i could do it more but the brain fog doesn’t let me do Anything and i can’t afford that rn w uni and all 😭

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

outwardly obvious when im struggling. im glad i get to control that. v comforting to hear tbh

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

last week i was asking a friend how long he thinks he could go w/out eating (i was fasting and was obsessing over it lmao) and i set it up like a challenge (me vs him). and i keep thinking about how my bsf said she thinks i wouldnt be as competitive as usual bc ik it’s actively+

[moth 🍂 @badpounds]

and i havent for years. i dont feel overlooked bc i know i hide it damn well but wow. like what would she think, how would she feel to know she’s got it so wrong? but also v happy there’s no suspicion there lmao it’s so interesting to hear how im perceived and im glad its not+