Lily Nelson

don’t fucking follow me

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

There’s always a car on fire somewhere in Detroit
-Charles

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

I smacked myself into autism
-Chuck

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

Weed so strong it cures cancer

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

Hunks pull you out of funks

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

I’ll see a million more sunsets before I poop in the woods
-Alyssa

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

How my parents are dealing with the coronavirus

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

I’d rather be a Russian woman than an American man

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

Government mandated juul time

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

The pillow has WiFi
-Fern

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

If you’re my real friend you’ll tell me when I have an eye boogie

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

I missed the part where my boobs gave a fuck about what you think
-Kiley Mann

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

If there was a 24 hour livestream of Jeff Goldblum living his life, I’d watch it

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

You can’t fuck without trees
-Boner

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

McDonalds is romantic if you’re with the right person

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

Uncle Sam is gonna bust your door down and fuck you up

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

Why learn about mental health issues when you can learn about the Gettysburg Address?

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

That was a perfect boat poop
-Sam Nelson

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

Boobs to infinity and beyond
-Rich Nelson

[Lily Nelson @baffledgiraffe]

I feel like I’m riding on dolphins right now!!
-Alyssa Wilson