Elena Blanco Moleón

There aren't enough adjectives.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

I'm aware this is like asking my neighbours if I can borrow bubble wrap to save my collection of dusty ceramic figurines while our building is burning down.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

While the enormous gaps in time between my tweets have been an odd source of pride, I'll probably be bummed if the inevitable demise of this app also means all evidence of my past buffoonery is wiped forever. Anyone out there got tips on preserving posts?

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

While the enormous gaps in time between my tweets have been an odd source of pride, I'll probably be bummed if the inevitable demise of this app also means all evidence of my past buffoonery is wiped forever. Anyone out there got tips on preserving posts?

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

(To the tune of Edelweiss)

Beans and rice, beans and rice
Ev'ry evening you feed me
You're alright
Not too light
You continue to fill me
Simmered on low I will cook you slow
Cook you slow as ever
Beans and rice, beans and rice
Cheaply feed me forever.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

Behoove sounds very intellectual but it is really just a cow cosplaying Austin Powers

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

I've decided Cantaloupe is the sweet shy child of Papa Papaya and Madame Honeydew

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

What if grasshoppers call us streetwalkers?

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

Sometimes I like to sing "Hold Me Closer Sancho Panza" with what's left of my Spanish accent

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

To the woman with the gold embroidered #hangry totebag on this bus: let's be friends

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

If I kiss a frog and it turns into a prince will he assume consent for another make out sesh? Maybe I'm just into amphibians. Get a clue, Dry Lips.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

If I die please publish my tweet drafts posthumously. I sat on them long enough. Don't @ me tho. Spooky.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

Starting to think my spirit animal is a fart-propelled goat.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

I need to keep an emergency supply of googly eyes at home. Or better yet in my purse.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

I often assume squirrels are girls.���️ Because they rhyme.

[R.L. Stine @RL_Stine]

Shakira, Shakira!

[Marco Rogers @polotek]

I see a lot of men in their feels over this latest example of toxic masculinity. Specifically, men really want someone to acknowledge how rough it is to be rejected by women. Let’s talk about it a little. https://t.co/vWlhYGL8QC

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

I think I saw more skateboards this weekend than in the entire decade of the 90s

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

There's no A, B, C, or D Coli. At least Hepatitis got its nasty alphabetized shit together.

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

IDK why wet dog smell gets such a bad rap. It honestly smells like the inside of a bagel shop. #unpopularopinion #forrealtho

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

@whedonesque @perkyshadowgirl Thank you for reminding me what day it is 😑👏

[Elena Blanco Moleón @baffleraffle]

PSA: Easter is on April Fool's this year so double check your "candy" eggs, folks 👀