Bailey Green

I write haikus about my cat and historical figures.

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

For the record: I am 28 years old, I have no children, I have one cat, and I am going to bed at 8:42 pm.

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

@Sarah_VanCleve Sounds like our lives though.

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

@Sarah_VanCleve Is it still the best thing you ever did?

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

A #PackersFootball #haiku Wings should come with sauce. Aaron Rodgers sucks a lot. What’s wrong with his hair?

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

A Golden Girls haiku:
"Blanche, grab the cheesecake."
"There is no more cheesecake, girls."
"Rose, go to the store."
#goldengirls #cheesecake #haiku

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

@GingOffTheHing Please don’t give me more ammunition to use about baby names

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

A moving haiku:
Moves into new house
But where has the roommate gone?
World may never know

[Wisconsin Badgers @UWBadgers]

Wisconsin Badger 🌹👐

World Cup Champion! 🇺🇸🏆

Congrats to @roselavelle and the @USWNT on winning the #FIFAWWC

#OnWisconsin #OneNationOneTeam

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

All I want to do is go on a date with US soccer player @tierna_davidson on a gondola while we eat mint gelato and cruise around Italy. I don’t really feel like this is asking too much, yet here I am, not on a gondola, binge eating two boxes of blueberry Eggos all alone.

[Simon Maloy @SimonMaloy]

Big war, very, very bad. They shot the duke! Which maybe he deserved it, they say he did some things. It was a war of addition--and also a war of attrition. A war of those things, equally. All the time our great doughboys say to me "thank you, Mr. Trump, for remembering our war"

[gina apple @ginapple_]

god knew i would be too powerful if i could do math

[CNN @CNN]

A zoo is accused of painting a donkey and passing it off as a zebra https://t.co/hsUiqAICZv

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

@NathanHRubin I mean, unless you’re a millennial that went to grad school to study the USSR’s role in instigating the worldwide socialist revolution... just saying.

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

A restaurant critique:
Vintage wooden walls
That don’t match the aesthetic...
One Miller Lite, please.
#Haiku #critique #vintage

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

Bread, milk, and carrots;
Apples, hummus, and chicken.
A grocery list.
#groceries #haiku #food

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

Warpigs Salmon Pants:
Danish beer, or just water?
We will never know. #Denmark #beer #øl #Danmark

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

@claireskee15 @HemzeErin Are you kidding me Claire

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Mom Hasn't Ordered Favorite Pizza Topping In Over A Decade https://t.co/zvBpIIYEzZ

[Bailey Green @bagreen2016]

Coconut cream pie,
the sweet essence of my soul.
Coconut, goodbye.
#Coconut #pie #goodbye
#haiku